The A-B-Cs of controlling ADHD's frustration and anger.

[Anonymous]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy

I’ve been trying to find ways to work with my “me-ness” and reading all sorts of information about what everyone wants to know and that is how to be happy and enjoy life. I think that is the bottom line, being able to have all the fun we want while still being responsible and contribute to family and work. The link above is pretty technical as it breaks it down into a formula and for me it took a while to digest what they were saying but once I did it made perfect sense so I encourage you to read it, think about the A (activating event), B (beliefs we have, values) and C (consequences), consider how previous consequences impact current A’s, and how B’s round out the emotional response and how easy it can be to challenge irrational, dysfunctional, self-defeating thoughts once we know a better way. Rather then having rigid absolutes in life learn to have flexible preferences.

The site Zen Habits is also a great resource for people like me that tend to be completely un-Zen most of the time.

http://zenhabits.net/archives/

Have a great weekend!

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[Wgreen]

Hey Crazy–

You have posited one side the great ADD debate.

REBT appears, in effect, to be a modern “scientific ” twist on ancient stoicism, Buddhism (and other philosophies and religions): “It’s not what happens to you in life, it’s how you perceive it and decide to deal with it. Moreover, how one perceives the world and fate can be calibrated using certain techniques.” Buddhists call this the search for “enlightenment.” Most of us in the West probably would call it a quest for self-realization, or some such thing.

Let’s take your article on REBT. The author says: “REBT differs from other clinical approaches like psychoanalysis in that it places little emphasis on exploring the past, but instead focuses on changing the current evaluations and philosophical thinking-emoting and behaving in relation to themselves, others and the conditions under which people live.”

For this discussion, I would argue the key words are “…focuses on changing the current evaluations and philosophical thinking-emoting and BEHAVING…”

Now, look at this definition (also Wikipedia) of stocism:

“Stoicism teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions; the philosophy holds that becoming a clear and unbiased thinker allows one to understand the universal reason (logos). A primary aspect of Stoicism involves improving the individual’s ethical and moral well-being: ‘Virtue consists in a will that is in agreement with Nature…”

So it’s “self-control and fortitude” that hold the key to virtue and well-being.

In both excerpts we find acts of the will are needed to discipline the psyche. The psyche in turn reins in destructive emotions and behaviors. The same can be said of Buddhist thinking. If successful, the adherent becomes the master of his/her world, not the other way around. So far so good.

But here’s the hitch: ADD is a neuro-genetic disfunction of the… WILL. That means it’s the will itself that first needs to be disciplined. And by what or whom? It’s one thing to train somebody who does NOT suffer from ADD how to change his/her life by embracing an attitude that the glass is always half full (or the glass doesn’t even matter), because that can produce a corresponding change in behavior. (And I’ll stipulate that both optimism and some detachment are good things, whether you suffer from some compulsive disorder, a job loss, or pancreatic cancer.) But for those of us who REALLY suffer from ADD/ADHD, training our wills (and thus ourselves) to function normally—forget optimally—is an Augean task. Looking at the problem through a new lens may help with understanding and attitude. Good. Maybe we can learn some coping strategies. Even better. We’ll take what we can get. But in ADDers, these things do not lead to a marked change in dysfunctional behavior or mood, because there is a deep biochemical cleavage between intention/understanding and the ability to act. Our wills don’t work! And without a will, psychology, philosophy, and positive-thinking ultimately fail to solve our problems.

Broken neurologies require different forms of intervention (mostly pharmaceutical), if they can be mitigated at all.

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[Bibliophile]

As has been noted by Wgreen, ADHD sufferers have an impaired ability to self motivate , i.e. rely on willpower alone to achieve an outcome. The corollary of this is that behaviour modification cannot be used to teach a new skill for those with moderate to extreme ADHD symptoms. In the absence of rewards, there is no motivation. This is why applying the stoic or zen position of using the will for emotional regulation alone for ADHD will not work. Where is the motivation or positive stimulus to do so?

Dr. Jain made a comment about marathon running in one of his videos that speaks volumes to the ADHD condition. He couldn’t imagine why someone would want to run a marathon? This is ADHD to a tea. We have an impaired ability to motivate ourselves towards a goal, especially one that has no tangible benefits or seems arbitrary, i.e. running 42.195 km.

Also, if you are blind to the effects of your emotions on future events due to the impulsive nature of the condition, how can you stop and regulate your emotions?

The good thing is that many people with ADHD also have memory issues. Forgetting past actions is the best way to maintain a positive outlook on life. It also means you keep doing the same action expecting the same result, even if that result is unattainable.

I would like to also note that there is a tendency for people with ADHD to think in absolutes as it reduces the anxiety that a decision presents. A black and white world is much easier for decision-making than a grey one.

I agree that we often attribute negative emotions to events that may not be justified by the actual event itself, but asking somone to use their will to identify this and change future behaviour seems unrealistic for serious ADHD sufferers; if there are other comorbidities, such as oppositional defiance disorder or anxiety dissorder as well, it seems utterly unattainable.

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[Anonymous]

Forgetting past actions is the best way to maintain a positive outlook on life

That’s me! When the ADD psych asked if I’d ever had any problems with depression, I told him no, I’m always able to put a positive spin on things. But I have memory problems big time, so your comment makes perfect sense to me.

And I think black and white too, have trouble sometimes seeing a solution to things if I am fixated on the “right” answer. I can be creative about other things, solutions, but sometimes I am an inflexible thinker (it’s like a brick wall, can’t get through it).

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[Author]

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