What exactly is the reason? I need to understand WHY.

[Tiddler]

I understand that ADHD is not a knowledge disorder. We know what we could be doing to improve certain symptoms but that doesn’t mean we can follow it through.

Why not?!

I know that things would be much better for me if I:

Made a to do list each evening and followed it the next day.

Lay out my clothes and the kids’ clothes in the evening.

Made the packed-lunches before I went to bed.

Got up when the alarm went off.

Kept my addresses and phone numbers together.

Had a place for everything and put things back where they belonged.

Organised my time into short sections and worked in short bursts and had regular short breaks.

Kept my paperwork in one place.

I know what I should be doing. I know I can’t do it. I don’t understand WHY I can’t do it.

Anyone?

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[Tiddler]

Also, I got impatient waiting for this to load and I appear to have posted it twice. Sorry.

I don’t know why I do that either!

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[Anonymous]

Hi Tiddler,

I went looking for more info, this link looks kind of interesting – they say that 70% of the brain is there to inhibit the other 30%, so with ADDers, we have issues with the 70%, I guess! http://newideas.net/adhd/neurology

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[kc5jck]

I have much of the same problem. Barkley addresses the problem on this you tube segment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF1YRE8ff1g&feature=related

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[Anonymous]

I figure that if you can answer the question of why, then you’ll never have to work another day in your life.

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[Anonymous]

Dr. Gabor Maté has written four bestselling books.

The first, Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Disorder (published in the U.S. as Scattered) offers a groundbreaking and optimistic perspective on this much-misunderstood condition, seeing it not as a disease but as a problem of brain development in the context of a stressed society.

His second book, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, is a passionately argued thesis that stress has a major role in the onset of most chronic diseases. Warmly received by readers and published in eight languages on five continents, When The Body Says No combines the latest findings of modern science with the poignant and compelling stories of many patients, ordinary people and famous. The book has been greeted with both support and controversy in the medical community.

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[Anonymous]

Have read Mate’s second book “When the Body says No” – it’s quite good, an eye-opening if you don’t think you have any stress in your life. Unfortunately I know I have stress, and plenty of it at the moment, it’s really making my patterns run wild.

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[Anonymous]

Yes, same .. the more I read about this stuff the more I realise how much stress and anxiety I have and make for myself. messy

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Tiddler, the neurology is not well understood. There are many ways of looking at this. None of them are necessarily the truth, they just give a different perspective. In the same way you could say, “That mother is feeding her baby because she loves him, because he’s hungry and that’s her job, because everyone would shame her if she didn’t, because she wants him to grow up strong, because it’s time for him to eat, because he’s hungry, because he was crying and she recognized it was his ‘hungry’ cry, she knows once he eats he’ll go down for his nap.”

All good reasons. Some simple facts, some quite complex.

So one way to look at ADHD is that we need more rewards than most people. We don’t feel our successes as deeply. (We don’t seem to feel hunger, thirst or other simple things as easily as others do. One person said, “I don’t really feel anything below my neck.” Another said, “The first time I tried medication I could actually taste the chocolate and enjoy it. I wasn’t thinking about something else.”

So we need more rewards. Bigger ones. Some people get a great deal of satisfaction from adding up their receipts and having the numbers come out right. They don’t like adding up the numbers any more than we do, but they like the reward of a job well done. Not ADDers. So we take high risk/high stimulation jobs, or seek situations, hobbies, addictions that give us big payoffs.

The trick I have found is to really reward myself for doing the basic stuff, like making up my list and sticking with it.

I celebrate a lot more than I ever did. Before, I’d finish one thing and jump to the next. I have written and performed in over 700 episodes of television and radio. And I’ve probably watched or listen to less than 50 of them. I never stopped to savour what I’d done, acknowledge it, enjoy it, and give myself a high five. Busy, busy, busy… Exhausting.

So try really rewarding yourself, mentally, verbally, however you want, when you do something. And best of all, have people who acknowledge you a lot. Especially at the start as you’re building skills. And if you have ADHD/ADD kids, acknowledge each step forward. Acknowledge the effort it took, not “You’re so smart” or “You’re so talented” or “You do have lots of willpower.” Cause we don’t believe we have willpower. And as for smart or talented? Well, I was those things my whole life and they didn’t help. What helped was making the effort.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

One more thing. Ultimately it all comes down to chemicals in the brain and feeling the rewards. It’s biology & neurology. The good news is, you can rewire your brain if you commit to it, and build new habits, which ultimately are simply new neural pathways.

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[Anonymous]

Rick……..that is my experience too. It takes time, practice to retrain thinking….and a serious amount of desire. Now a pile of folks may well jump on the wagon stating……it’s like telling somebody to get up out of their wheelchair and walk….they could if they wanted to!!

No….I don’t believe that is true, nor is it an accurate analogy…….yet for some??? If we look at folks who have had serious traumatic accidents who can no longer walk, talk or even feed themselves…..who after years of patient work end up doing all of those thing once again……????? It is through persevering and brain re-training that these amazing things are possible…

Medicine and experts commonly will tell people, yes, here is the reason your like that, these are the findings!! Here is the medical evidence of your condition, now you can accept it and that is the way it will be for you. Or not!!!!

I’ll take a chance here……the first step may be as simple as….Yes I Can….screw the medical evidence Easy to say, hard to really own!!! Fact is….the world is full of folks who contradict the experts in the field, who leave the wisest of the wise dumb founded….because they defy the common or standard thinking of the day. They would not submit……they had a different plan.

I’m not one to say it’s easy, EVER, and I have no idea what it is like to walk in another’s shoes……I can only speak for me and my experience. It was hard…..just wanting it wasn’t enough.

But, I can have no final failure, until I quit trying………..

Toofat

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[trashman]

great points all I wonder if it is possible for me and where and how would I start when I have trouble remembering my own name.lol maybe not that bad ,but close? any thoughts

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[Anonymous]

I use post-it notes a lot. I used to joke that I needed a velcro vest to stick reminders to.

Maybe someone could invent a dry-erase tshirt for me so I could write notes as I go and they’d follow me around, instead of writing notes at home, then a note to take to work (I’ve tried coiled memo pads, but ended up with so many of them I forgot which one was for what and ended up with the wrong pad in the wrong place).

trashman, you remind me of my grandmother, when she got mad at one of us, she couldn’t remember our name, and just started at the top, the first child, and worked her way down until she remembered the right one.

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[billd]

“rewiring” is only part of it. and injury is different as well (learned a LOT from the neuro-psyc fellow)

I used to work for On With Life – a head injury rehab facility. I can tell you – for severe ADHD – it’s not even close. Rewiring is simple in the brain where the main function were fine PRIOR to the injury. In ADD – some of those abilities were never there. Can’t rewire that. Habits, etc. yes, but it’s still different.

The lady born missing a hemisphere – her other half took over a number of functions. Limited space like a computer with limited RAM, so almost all functions were limited, but those that would have been on the missing parts were moved to the other part in limited capacity.

With ADD – there’s an issue that prevents that – the brain was never properly functional, so it’s can’t simply be “retrained” in the severe cases.

Working those years at OWL was really cool – it’s amazing what an otherwise healthy brain which becomes injured can do – but the key words – “otherwise healthy”…………. Injury is a lot different from issues with chemicals and malfunctions. If the part is there but malfunctioning, then it won’t rewire. If the part is missing or injured, it may rewire.

Some folks ADD is due to injury or other causes (which was ruled out in my case) and in those cases, those ADD folks can probably rewire to some extent.

OWL had an on-staff neuro-psychologist full-time, he and I worked together a lot, me being the IT and safety person.

Rewards – ADD folks tend to need them instantly – not hours, days or weeks down the road. Instant gratification.

Me – I experience food – I require constant stimulation by food – taste, smell, etc. – and texture is everything. Even a food I generally like if the texture is wrong, it’s nasty. So I’m always eating, drinking, whatever. I must have a lot of sensory stimulation and be active. When sitting still and not doing something, I must have a sight, sound, flavor or smell. Any drugs seem to take away from my experience with tastes or smells. (one reason I’ve never been big into alcohol and never did recreational drugs – they mess with my senses which I live for)

I’m the opposite of what Rick describes – I eat because I CRAVE the sensation, the flavor, the smell. I ALWAYS have a drink handy and plain water simply won’t do – it’s got to have flavor! Food must be spicy or FULL of a flavor I love.

Lemon, dark chocolate (milk chocolate won’t cut it) soda with fruit flavors. I’m addicted to the sensations of food and drink……… not really that hungry, but will often eat for “something to do” as well as the sensations.

TF – I’m REALLY trying to make changes, but frankly, it isn’t working well since the adderall has sort of lost its effect on me. I had hope – STILL do, and frankly, will never give up. I’m trying to take your posts as words of encouragement. A positive spin………….

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[billd]

kc5jck on Barkley’s video – his videos really fit my symptoms and life to a T. He’s describing me in great detail. (and it’s getting worse, although when I think back – maybe it’s always been, just now I’m more AWARE of it happening??? Maybe it’s the AWARENESS now – and it’s always been this bad for me)

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[Author]

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