Fast track to my add story

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

I was born and by the age of 6 I took off my house to look for the right store that would sell me a tricycle. Never made it that far but managed to walk 1 kilometer on my own till someone found me and brought me back home.

I had to redo the first year of elementary school because the frog outside the window was always more interesting than the teachers chatting. The only time school became more interesting was when I purposely put myself in a “corner” so I could hide behind the blackboard.

Teachers in 1983 thought that I was deaf or had some issue but they never pinpointed what was different about me, but they all kept saying how intelligent I was and if I applied myself I would be an excellent student. I could not do it. I NEVER did my homework at school but somehow I managed to pass the grades, even though each year was praying that I would have to repeat the year again.

At first year of highschool all the problems started again, same story, I had to pass all branches individually because I didn’t study at all. Once I had the great idea of going into another classroom and hidding behind the desks of my friends and spend the whole class hiding from the teacher… until she saw me and promised me that I would never ever pass her branch, but I did.

Then I went to study to be a priest but it didn’t last long because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and after 3 months they kicked me out of it. I couldn’t stop arguing about what I though was right. Then I decided that I wanted to go live in Switzerland, so I stopped going to school and started homeschooling myself for 2 years. I didn’t manage to complete all tests on time so I had to quit the idea of going to Switzerland and returned to school for the last year (5th year in Argentina). That was the first big disappointment of wanting something and doing everything to screw it up.

Then I worked for 2 years at a sock factory, I would turn the machines on, then put my head under the pipe that was releasing the socks and they would fall in my face, which was the hint for me to wake up and start sawing it. This would give me 2 minutes of sleep and 12 seconds of actual work. This automation strategy worked very well until one of my bosses saw me sleeping and then it became a daily thing. He would show up at any time to wake me up… go figure why somebody would do that

Then I decided that I wanted to be a musician so I went to study to the conservatory and stopped 3 months later to go find another job. I worked there for 2 years and then decided that I wanted to study Engineering in another city. Guess what? I didn’t manage to pass the tests so I decided that moving to Switzerland and going to one of the hardest universities in the world would be a good idea. So I moved to Switzerland, learn french and worked as a dish washer for 4 months. Then I went to the university where I managed to have the worst qualification in the class. Then I decided that moving to another university would be the best choice.

I decided that instead of picking the computer programing branch that I was familiar with I would pick the electric engineering branch which I had no idea of. I failed again. To make things more interesting that same day I found that my girlfriend was a hooker and that she was probably pregnant (ahhhhhhhhhh #%%@%%%@%) Lucky me, she wasn’t pregnant… but she was still a hooker ex-girlfriend). I was living with 750 CHF (Swiss francs per month) while the line of poverty was under 3000 CHF.

Luckier me, after a couple of months were I became a vegetable pot smoker obsessed with seduction forums, reading 8 to 16 hours a day about the tips, tricks and techniques of picking up chicks for fun and pleasure I got my Swiss citizenship which helped me get a job that multiplied my income times 10.

Yeah! I finally make some money… for a while. My obsession for picking up chicks made me try all kind of weird things like going to the most conservative Swiss company in the world, Nestle, where all the top managers and marketing experts work with my nails painted black (I’m a man). I don’t know if it was the hours of reading seduction related material, my growing curiosity on reading erowid.org and how to make all types of drugs in a lab (which I have no idea of and never tried) or what the reason was… but after a while my bosses kept downgrading my position (opposite of a raise) until I ended up in a closed office with no work, paid for 3 months until they decided to let me go.

The positive thing of that is that during that time I started studying marketing, and because I was failing so bad I decided that if I didn’t succeed that I was going to kill myself. That worked pretty well as a motivation because during the 3 months I stayed in the office without anything to do, I just studied and nothing else. I pass my marketing diploma and for once in my life I did something I was proud of… Funny thing is that if I had failed I wouldn’t bed here telling you this story. Talk about motivation strategies ah!

Then the best thing in my life happened. I got introduced to MDMA. Funny how drug abuse was actually the right treatment for me at the time. It helped me to become more uplift, more friendly, funnier, happier… but unemployed.

Then came 2 years of unemployment sponsored by the swiss government. During that time someone though that I had no purpose in my life and put one on me, build the number 1 website in the world for a group of schools. I must say that I decided to move my 9 employee company to another country just 1 month before knowing that I was going to run out of money. I seemed the right decision at the time ($#$!#$^!#%$@)

I failed, lost all my savings, almost lose my wife.

Then I moved to Canada where my wife was that month, I had so many debts that I couldn’t possible pay them if I stayed in Argentina. For 6 months I couldn’t work, thanks to the immigration law of Canada. That helped me gain a new obsession: Figure out why I had failed, and started to learn as much of e-marketing as possible, spending 8 hours or more everyday reading forums, downloading videos and whatever I could find about it. Then I got a job, had great ideas, great information, tips, tricks, shortcuts, knew exactly what had to be done to double, triple, quatriple their business. I started a project, then another, then another, then another… but I never managed to finish any of them. The frustration I was feeling was overwhelming, the feelings of being a piece of shit where very real.

Then another change came along, the opportunity for my wife and me to be moved to Central america by her employer. I stopped working for my employer to go work for her. Needless to say that all projects I started in my company were left unfinished, feeling not only like a piece of shit but as the worst piece of shit. Those guys were the nicest people in the world: waterionizer.org

Guess what? I sold my wife’s company into sending us to Central America ahead of time, that we would make them millions thanks to my internet marketing expertise. I had a plan, I knew what to do, I had the site, I had the knowledge, I had the strategy already done! I was easy.

After 6 months we were both fired and had to find a way to survive in the second poorest country in the whole American continent. New projects, bigger projects, bigger plans, bigger numbers, more websites, more new website, newer new projects, newer new strategies… Should I tell you that I never managed to make a cent? My wife saved the day by cold calling companies and selling them SEO services.

Then I got a new big project for a car dealership in Ottawa. Great opportunity, great strategy, great future. Oops I did it again. Inspite of my very precise project management software, my checklists, my philipino outsourcing, my step by step systems. I managed to do absolutely nothing of what I had to do.

THEN I though for the first time that MAYBE, ADD was something to be considered… but heck no! ADD is an invented “thing”, “it’s all in your mind”, so dropped the whole thing for a couple of months more until I decided to ask my wife to answer the ADD test for me.

Her testing me was worse than my self assessment. Then I went to the doc, and then to the “right” doc and then to the “right right” doc and he gave me stratera.

Yahoo! now I was a very swetty, very smelly add guy. 4 months after than I went again and he gave me Welbutrin. Now I was a very high tolerance alcohol drinker.

Today it’s been a month that I’m off welbutrin, It didn’t do anything for me so I stopped taking it. I have no money to go see my doctor tomorrow. I know so friggin much about marketing and about how to turn a company inside out, double and triple profits, I know the strategies, I know the tools, I know the reasons why and the mental triggers. I know more internet marketing than many 7 figure business people BUT I’m still struggling with money everymonth.

I know this is not going to be forever but I’m kind of losing hope that I’ll be able to apply my knowledge on a company, without feeling overwhelmed or confused once I take the first step.

I’m so friggin creative, I could open a new business everyday and if I didn’t have to take care of the operations it would be a success. I sit myself in front of the computer and I don’t even know what I have to do but I sit myself in front of any company owner or CEO and I can show them 100 ways to improve their business in less than a week.

I have more hypnosis training and NLP training than most professionals but I cannot find what I really want to do.

I wish I had the H in ADD so I could move my ass and get things done! My problem is that I cannot finish anything. AH, by the way, I just lost a very well paid job that implied a lot of project planning, sticking to deadlines and getting things done on time.

Santiago

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[vonmatrix]

Santiago.  I hope everything is working out.

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[blackdog]

@santiago.demierre

Wow, that is quite a story. A few suggestions that came to mind while I was reading:

First, try to look on the positive side. You are not a complete failure. It sounds like you are very intelligent and creative and you have a lot of skills. Focus on the good things you have done, the things that worked. You have to start feeling better about yourself before you can make your life better.

Second, try getting just a regular job somewhere for a little while, something that will give you a pay check so that you can go to the doctor and get some medication. I know how much it sucks to be stuck in a boring job where you don’t get to use any of your skills. But if you can stick it out just long enough to get a little money saved up and get some treatment for your ADD it will be worth it.

And third, have you considered getting a partner? Someone who is good at all the things you aren’t, like finishing projects and making deadlines. That way you can be the “creative genius” and come up with all the brilliant ideas, which is what you are good at, and they can just follow through on your plan.

Also, medication can only help you so much. It can’t make your ADD go away. You have to learn to live with it. And you will have to try to change your behaviour. You have to learn to maximize the good characteristics and minimize the negative ones.

There are a lot of things you can do for yourself that will help- getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, exercising, meditating etc.

Having the “H” doesn’t necessarily help. Hyperactivity may make you feel more energized, but it is very difficult to focus that energy. It is better to learn how to conserve your energy and use it when you really need it.

And with that it’s time for me to focus my energy on what I am supposed to be doing right now….

Good luck. I hope everything works out for you. 🙂

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[jojosephine]

I think your wife cold called me for SEO services lol.

You have to figure out how you can do that (get in front of business owners and CEO’s). Could you right up proposals and put together presentations and approach them? How do you find out about companies that are suffering? And what could be incentives to get them to listen to you? And you don’t want them to just take your ideas and run with them. How do you protect yourself against that.

maybe you could start up a “start-up business” consultant business.

Your life sounds just like mine except different setting, scenes, character and subjects.

I can’t wait to sit down and right out my adulthood. and just how long that story would be. All the failed ideas and relationships.

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