Re: IMPULSIVE!!

[Patte Rosebank]

I’m not really a burlesque dancer, Lianne. My dancing days are long behind me. I was laid low by flat feet, exacerbated by the fact that the dance studio had a concrete floor. But I can still tap a little bit, and I can at least put “moves well” on my resume. Even so, it was a real shocker when I had to sit out most of the finale when I was in the Canadian premiere of “Jerry Springer – The Opera”. My joints and muscles rebelled to the point where I could just manage to march on to join the kickline across the front edge of the stage, at the very end of it. The second shocker was realizing that I was twice as old as some of the cast members, and at least 15 years older than the rest of them. (But socio-emotionally, I’m still only 28.4!)

I’m a burlesque singer, with songs like “Otto Titsling” (from “Beaches”), “Bring On the Men” (from “Jekyll & Hyde”), “I Never Do Anything Twice” (a rare bit of Sondheim, from “The Seven Percent Solution”), “Sweet Gypsy Rose” (from the wife’s point of view), and Liza Minnelli’s “Ring Them Bells” (with strategically placed jingle bells on my red sequinned mini-dress). And I can ad-lib some great banter with audiences.

Though I know how to twirl tassels, and do on rare occasions, I always keep my corset and tights on, because if I were to remove them, the resultant jiggling would cause a tsunami in Lake Ontario. I sang in the last (actually the first) two Toronto International Burlesque Festivals, and I’m applying to perform in this year’s, which will be in July. I’ll also be making and donating something fancy to the Festival’s bra auction in aid of breast cancer research.

If you feel like doing something wild and impulsive, and you’re in Toronto, the Toronto Burlesque & Vaudeville Alliance is having another “Strip Search” contest, to find new talent for the Festival. There are Burlesque (for girls), Boylesque (for boys), and Variety divisions, and the winner of each division gets a place in the Festival. I won the Variety division in the first contest, and that’s how I got into the first Festival. Even if you don’t compete, it’s still amazing to watch people come out of their shells the first time they do burlesque onstage. They start out a little timid, but by the time they get to the tassel-twirling, they’re flushed with triumph and exuberance and the thrill of just letting themselves go and have fun, and to hell with what anybody else thinks. It’s the same thrill you can get from playing a character who has hysterics in a sketch or a play (wonderfully cathartic, especially if you get big laughs or a soothing, “Awww…” from the audience while doing it), or from singing in a crowded karaoke bar. And you need to be totally sober to really enjoy it.

One more Vegas tip: If you’re in Vegas on the first Thursday-to-Sunday in June, you’ll be there for the Miss Exotic World burlesque festival, at the Plaza Hotel, in old Vegas. I won’t be able to make it, but many of my friends will be there, along with many of the legends of the burlesque world of the 1940s-1970s.

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