Re: Survival in an ADD relationship…

[kc5jck]

Clearly, your are right, Cat, in what you say. My wife seldom, if ever, gets angry or upset without cause. People should be heard and not dismissed for being upset over valid concerns and I’m not the best qualified at determining what is valid.

There are times, however, when the ensuing discussion degenerates into a senseless harangue with her saying things which I know she does not mean and fall far outside the bounds of “the rules of fair fighting.” (I don’t think she has ADD, but she, like most people, has her own demons to wrestle with.) This usually happens in the evening and goes for as long as three hours, stopping only when she is too exhausted to continue. My ADD and responses do not help. I often find myself at a loss and find that whatever I say to clarify or defuse the situation only fuels her escalating rage. I believe that there are others who may find themselves in similar situations.

My above post describes one way that I am able to cope without becoming hurt, angry, or tempted to respond in kind. I hope that It might be helpful to others.

Thanks for allowing me to try to clarify.

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