The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › I Married An ADDer › Survival in an ADD relationship… › Re: Survival in an ADD relationship…
And now to change the subject somewhat, my wife and I (probably ADD) have several ongoing problems on which I would like comments and suggestions.
First, we preceive things differently. For example, our son (21, ADD, and struggling through college) or daughter (24, not ADD, and graduated college) will say something that usually but not always goes completely by me. My wife will immediately pick up on it and take the offspring to task for being impolite, disrespectful, or overly reactive. Then she will be upset with me for not speaking up in the first place and/or not actively taking up and supporting her position on the matter. Usually I am just quiet, I am a quiet person, wait for her to finish, and try to move the conversaion on to other things. She feels that my reaction undermines her authority and by my reaction am siding with the kid against her. So she feels betrayed by me. I am wondering if this minimizing or inability to pick up on this is ADD related or some other personality defect unrelated to ADD.
Another thing is sometimes when we are out among people together, I will say something about her or perhaps act in a way that is at best uncomplimentary and cruel at worst. I think sometimes I am not aware and sometimes I am. I suppose is could be ADD related, it could be passive aggressive behavior related to the above, or something else.
The last thing I can think of right now, is although we will agree on how to manage/discipline our son, left to me, it just isn’t a happening thing. Maybe I’m overly patient, maybe its an ADD thing, maybe I’m just disconnected with reality.
Any comments?
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