jeaninet,
I wish I had some good advice, but all I can offer is support and that I can relate to what you are going through. I have been married almost 10 years and we have two children, 4 and 5 1/2 years. I feel like I”m at the end of my rope and am always one day away from ending up in the “loonie bin.” My oldest daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and that is when I got (and him) the aha moment that he was ADHD as well. I didn’t get it earlier because I knew how to recognize it in kids, not adults. Some days I feel like my marriage is not going to work and I can’t handle it anymore. My husband, while he does help out more than some husbands around the house, I still feel like I”m stuck doing most of the parenting, because either it’s constant yelling, or he has to go and put the headphones one and “tune out” to keep from losing it himself. He does not have the ability to filter a lot of things. The saving grace for us (and what gives me hope) is that I happened to come across the “ADD and loving it” on pbs. I recorded it and watched it and my husband asked me to keep it recorded so he could watch it. It wasn’t until he watched that movie that he became more open to going on medications. He has started the med journey and there are moments of “good” but still those difficult moments. I am hopeful though that things will get better. Maybe you can suggest you watch the DVD together. I found it was better for my husband to hear it from someone else than just feel like I was nagging at him about something else again. I know the exhaustion you feel. I feel it every day. I hope things can look up for you. I would also suggest sitting down and just having a heart felt conversation, without accusations. (I know it’s hard when you feel a lot of anger, resentment and exhaustion). Good luck and keep us updated. As I have mentioned, I’m hopeful things can get better on our end as well….
TLC
PS- Another thing that helped my husband have more understanding about how it was for me, was the book “Is it you, ADD, or me? It is focused on how AD(h)D affects relationships and from the perspective of the partner without ADHD. You may want to purchase that for yourself and leave it out for him to see and maybe read? 
LIke by the remote? hehe sorry had to add a little humor