@louie007 we all know how you feel. when people don’t understand just what it is you’re working against, they don’t understand how hard it is for you to do the same things that everyone else does easily. i admire you for being able to have gotten to where you are – i know i couldn’t do that kind of office work. i’ve tried 
i’ve found that education has been a good route or me, and you may or may not find a fit there.
you should at least get tested for the adhd (can’t remember if you said you were under treatment or not) and get tested for learning disabilities too. a good doctor should also be able to do one of those aptitude batteries. you have to know where you’re starting from and what you have in order to start moving. who knows, maybe you have clinical depression! i did for a while, and i’m sure most of us have been depressed in some sort of way or another.
i used to feel like a failure and like crap all the time too. one book that helped me, oddly enough, is “virus of the mind” which has nothing to do with ADD or ADHD. but it gives me a method of thinking about my thinking (if that makes sense) and when i start getting myself worked up thinking around in circles about something (like “i feel like a failure and a piece of crap”), i think about the concepts in that book, and try to change the programing. i think it’s available on audio book. has anyone else read it and used it like that?
please don’t beat yourself up. at least you DID get a raise. my boss didn’t give me a raise at all one year and rated someone else as a better photographer than i was – and she didn’t even take pictures!! hug the kids and let it go long enough to enjoy the holidays – give yourself a vacation from bad thoughts if you can. you can always come tell the forum how you are and we’ll listen…
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