shuz4me you’re quite possibly my morning clone. 
it CAN be an ADHD thing, or a depression one- some of us get so tired and frazzled mentally and physically rushing about trying to keep up and concentrate and get even just one thing done in the day, and struggle so much to get our brains off all the things that seem to come up last thing at night (when we’re tired enough to think half straight) and into bed and switch off at night, and then we think all night while we’re sleeping- no wonder its hard to get up again!
depression by itself can also make mornings a killer, i don’t deny it. until i got my depression meds sorted out, and got some adhd meds thrown onto the pile, getting me up in the morning was a feat that the most heroic dragonslayer with the best armour and longest proding stick ever would be daunted to undertake.
when i was at school and college i had 3 or 4 alarms set to get me up in the morning, 10 minutes apart, on full volume: the little travel one by the bed, that beeped wicked loudly, with a really tiny fiddly off switch on the back (i used to rip the batteries out of the back and chuck them across the room while wailing loudly in my sleep instead of fumbling for the tiny button), the loud rock music cd that’d play on the minisystem 10 feet across the room (i could get across there and turn that off, and get back to bed in my sleep) the tv alarm set on a horribly annoying channel that yelled at me in welsh some time after that (with remote hidden in a sock drawer) and sometimes the classic metal alarmclock shut inside a steel box buried in the closet as well. i was still late a lot.
i would hold impressively coherant conversations while in my sleep- with people who knocked on my bedroom door asking me to remember to do something important for them later in the day, or whether i knew where something was that they couldn’t find, and not remember them at all. i took written phone messages in the hall and got back in bed without knowing it, even. my mother (who took a long time to come around to the idea that i wasn’t lying about the sleep discussions) would yell me into awakedness with sheer blooodyminded willpower, and by putting cold wet flannels on the soles of my feet, all sorts. brave brave woman.
the bf (who is now lucky enough to take over her roll of awakener) yells “time to get up babes!” and rolls me over and shakes me around a bit and threatens me with the flannels (which i stupidly told him about) every 30 minutes or so for several hours each morning, and ignores the stream of expletives and angsty “just ten more minutes… just one more hour!… nooooooo!….. i’m not finished sleeping yet damnit!” type verbal drama that results, along with the “its bloody THREE PM?! why didn’t you wake me up earlier!?!? argh!!!!” that also inevitably follows, then strokes my hair while i lie snuggled against him under a blanket on the couch grumbling with a chocolate icelolly, slowly trying to come to terms with the trauma of awakedness, for the next hour or so.
……or at least he did until very recently- they’ve jacked up my dose of straterra recently, and now i’m on a very novel and quite unselttling 8 hour sleep schedual, and wake up pretty damned chipper and fresh like a daisy before lunchtime- as aposed to fuming and seething and dragging my sluggish form around the house wailing after a solid 14 hours kip.
things do seem to be going a bit sucktastically for you recently, so i know getting the perfect stash of meds to fix your wiring challenges might not be on the cards in the near future (if you can, and its deemed appropriate, maybe see if they can prescribe you something with a bit of stimulant to it- effexor, wellbutrin, etc), but do try and grab hold of all the help you can for your depression and ADHD- from chairities, support groups, etc- it’ll help you haul yourself out of that hole and wade through your days one at a time. things can and will be better- i never thought they would be for me, but they are- you just gotta hang in there until change starts to happen, then keep it moving forwards. you can do it!
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