Reply To: Tired – don't know if it's ADHD or just me

[caringchaotic]

Thank you so much for the reply Rita. All of what you said resonates. I’m sorry for the late reply. Things have been pretty hectic and chaotic recently as I’ve moved to a new area and had lots to sort out. But i am really grateful for you taking the time to write such a good reply.

I also find handwriting things is the best way of making information go into my brain. I don’t tend to take things in when I’m just told verbally so have to write it down. But yes, if I have to write notes fast, although I can usually get the information down it is usually very messy and disorganised and I should really write it down again neatly and go over it so I take it in but I usually don’t get round to it. Somehow I got through university but I don’t have any proper system for notes. I just have a random assortment of mindmaps and flashcards in different folders so I wouldn’t be able to study from stuff again in a systematic way if I needed to.

Anyway, you’re right. I think I do need help but I’m not even registered with a doctor as I’m living somewhere new so I need to get around to doing that first. And where I’m living it’s a long process and people don’t tend to believe adults have it. I think I would have to go private but I can’t currently as I’m in a pretty dire financial situation. I don’t think outwardly I look that ADHD as well so I feel like people wouldn’t believe me. I do fidget a lot if I’m bored but often I don’t do things I find boring so I don’t need to fidget that much. Although even if I’m watching a great tv show I do have to have something in my hands to play with like a pebble or blue tack. And as I’m writing this I’m biting the inside of my mouth and my nails.

I am quite stressed though so need to do something about it. Yesterday I was late to a financial appointment even though I tried really really hard to run on time. I’ve really struggled to sleep at all at the new place I’m living as the curtains let too much light in so I need to sort that out. I’ve had to buy quite a few new things as I left a lot behind at the last place I was living which is really annoying. Everything is a bit of an uphill battle but i like a challenge.

My work environment is a hospital so I don’t think it’ll be possible to make it quiet but luckily I’m alright with a bit of background noise. Sometimes when it’s quiet you notice small sounds more don’t you? Like at night I’ll not be able to sleep and then become aware that there’s a tiny sound coming from my laptop as it’s still switched on. In a busy environment, sometimes you can cancel out the other sounds a bit when something is really important and demands all your attention. I might be alright.

I agree you can’t really outgrow it. I’m pretty certain my Dad has it. He’s impossible to have a proper conversation with as he interrupts and talks over you or gets distracted by the dog or something.

If I do have it though I don’t think it’s all bad. I’m super random and I act like a clown which is great for cheering people up. I’m pretty resourceful (jump through hoops to do things in a quick and less tedious way) and am excitable and encouraging to others. And I’m a Gryffindor 🙂

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