Re: ADD and Lying

[Anonymous]

CAPT,

First, I commend you for bringing this particular issue to light. As a 48 yr old that has struggled and I mean struggled with ADD my whole life. Your questions of “thinking on your feet” and “lying” are dear to me As my disclaimer: I did not know I had ADD till about 3 years ago when I was diagnosed AND I DID NOT believe it. To be honest i did not even know what “it” was . I was not educated about it and only told I had it. It is only very recently upon knowledge gathering through a host of sources I have become aware that I let ADD control my life because of my ignorance as I was not educated about it. I own up to not only having ADD I need to gain control and manage it to be the best I can be for me and all those I touch directly or indirectly in all facets of my life.

Look at you Capt, you have come forth with an issue that all persons come across everyday. And you are sharing as an ADD’er where this everyday event can become a major issue no STRUGGLE because how your brain is wired (mine too). Speaking from experience “Do not lie”! And I can see in your post by the example you do not want to. However if you do spend time with family and stay with them sure why not say you live there if you do occasionally! If your applicant asks if that is your primary residence IKES tell them the truth Ex: No, However I stay there often as I need to keep my business options open and contacts close to me that is why I spend so much time there and offered the references i did blah blah blah… Many people have multiple places of residence today. But if you do not have family there and do not even know where Washington DC is, do not lie.

I agree with toofat also. Socially, you need to put it all on the table and the examples described by TF is exactly what I used to do without even knowing it. It worked well, I felt good, It allowed the good person in me out and it allowed for great personal growth. But remember you have ADD and it must be continually managed… and in my honest learned opinion you must MANAGE it. It is more than just OK for others to support you and you to lean on others for help. Just remember you are the boss of you… There are many outside influences some even close to you in the world today that can draw you into places that can satisfy your immediate needs and quenches of being an ADDer but you must think beyond. Sure that is easy for me to say that now but it is the truth IMHO as an ADD’er. Again I see that you had an immediate need for a job but is Maryland the right place for you? Do you really have a place to live, do you have the contacts or education that the job requires etc.? Why did you apply for a job there in the first place, do you have a long lost acquaintance that lives there? Why not move there and make that your primary residence? Those are questions only for you to know and answer… blah blah blah

I have similar impulsiveness behaviors as Toofat and maybe as you Capt. That is why I am going the med route in conjunction with the holistic approach. It is a decision based upon knowledge gathering which took time and patience to obtain. I had to reach down deep with great difficulty to get educated, (I can hardly sit still and read anything due to the constant distraction and fuzziness in my head). If not for many circumstances I may not even be going this route. I was trained from a young age all mental health issues can be fixed just by doing physical work, all psyche medications are bad for you and keep all your inner problems inside….Wrong!…all that was said out of either lack of knowledge or for ulterior motives …. First how can I work if the instructions I am supposed use to work I cannot even remember what I read because of my clouded brain that suppresses me from learning how to do something. Or I blurt out incorrect or incomplete answers instead of being able to sit still in a class to learn something. How come I gaze into space or outside because I need to wander and dream excessively….

To live life to the fullest I think a plan that can be continually tuned up is needed. It may not need to be a perfect plan and it should allow room for exploration but you should have many many contingencies in place as life is not perfect and for an ADDer it can be even a little more difficult BUT the rewards can be magical!

Best of luck Capt and great advice and suggestions “TF”.

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