Re: ADD and religion

[Robbo]

<<< I had never read this thread before – fascinating! I grew up in a multi-faith family, and we never went to church, but I’ve been extremely interested in religion all my life. Every religeon I’ve learned about has added something postitive to my viewpoint for sure. >>>

Yeah!, I could say that, but ya already have.I’ve been searching all my life, the last five years the search has gotten much more extreme. I still don’t represent any particular denomination, but my relationship with our Creator is a daily reality, meditation to keep in contact with God and stay here in the present has been my ace in the hole for many more years than I could put a finger on. I would have to take off my shoes in order to count them.

I had my first real spiritual experience in 1989, a few days after the massive earthquake that hit about 70 miles away centered in the Santa Cruz mountains. I still struggle remembering the name of that mountain town in was centered in. It will pop into by brain by the time I get done writing if my faith in my own subconscious mind works like I suspect it works. I simply quit trying to remember it. Sometimes giving up is the best way to not give up. [my subconscious mind never gives up] Anyway, it’s a very personal thing and I don’t see a good reason to share exactly what happened. It was a profound, physically blissful sensation of some kind of WIND blasting through my entire being.

ReadyMindsetGo it would be cool if you could post some links to the pages you’re talking about. I’m in the process of turning myself into a lab rat once again. I’ve spent a ton of time on the net, the phone, and in bed sleeping, dreaming, and praying. It’s no accident that I got up right when a show I watched part of a few days ago on pbs. Esther Sternberg MD has a bunch of sites on the net about brain science. http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=esther+sternberg&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 I’m inviting you guys to come along with me and surf around on her links. That’s part of how I plan to go back into the lab rat business.

I’m disabled, some doctors at teaching hospitals love to use people like me as if we were lab rats. As long as I’m willing to forgive them for breaking the hippocratic oath, and also not let them cross any lines that will cause the people who love me harm. There’s a chance I can get a decent diagnosis and treatment.

Some doctors may take offense at what I just said, if you know what I’ve been through as the “subject” (they may even have given me a number so the residents involved felt less guilty). But taking offense from my opinion and the way I experienced the “study” I was involved in is just dumb. Yep, I just called you a dummy! if you’re a doctor and take offense. I tell it like it is. I used to write endlessly on an enormous web site back in the late 90’s. At one point an English teacher emailed me and volunteered to correct and email back much of my writing for free. Eventually she began to become too much like an editor, and her opinions started getting pushed a little too hard into what I had to say. I’ve grateful for what’s her name. She was a truly kind lady. Maybe, ya never know on the Internet, huh? it could have been a cocky little 9 year old boy, hehe. Huh? Or one of the many students at Stanford who recognized me and seriously loved my quirky sense of humor, I had tons of mail from people who were helped just from ready (struggling through) my documentation of endless mistakes, near death experiences. And tons of good scientific information and experience about pain management, nutrition, and the wildest freaky ass graphics they have found. I also got complaints from people with epilepsy who were triggered into seizures by clicking on one of the endless links all over my maze/web site. I smoked some weed at the time and I was completely clueless about ADHD. I just had too much time on my hands. I was an adrenaline junkie suddenly forced to SIT endlessly, and live with parents who were much MUCH less than supportive about my loss of nearly everything good in my life. Fortunately my 9 year old daughter still needed me in her life. She’s almost finished with her Internship at a very awesome University where she earned here BS in nutrition. She’s a dietician in the making. And! she finally got herself into the ocean and learned how to surf!, I’m still waiting for pictures of her graduation. But she sent me the pictures of her catching her first waves a buncha months ago. She’s a goofy foot just like me. Don’t get me started telling you all about my offspring. I used to call her Punkin-head when she was really little. I got to find out what it’s like to be a single parent for a couple years back in the early 90’s. At that point in my life my focus was on not passing on any of the dysfunction both her mothers, and my own parents’ family’s have had to endure. I did well, I did well because I did more than pray for help, I BEGGED!!! on my knees. And I took parenting classes, went to a lot of therapy for my own good, and participated in a lot of reaching out for help. With me God works through people. I like to say God is the Good in People. Kinda like Carl Jung’s collective unconscious theories. I’ve have yet to study any of it!. Instead I’ve been experiencing it. I have learned how to meditate by simply doing it!, yep I read a lot, talked n pontificated much about it, but mostly I DID IT, a good decision I might add.

How to not ramble, this is the mystery of my existence when I’m writing… I have a great! book, one of my favorites by Albert Einstein. It’s called “Out Of My Latter Years”, Awesome, very long sentences that took me freaking forever to get through. But it was worth the work, he’s a brilliant dude. Some people suspect he had Aspergers. It’s likely he knew hebrew, a funky language indeed. Long sentences and not much grammar, so I’ve heard.

So, here’s an idea, let’s start some kind of support group here! and call it “Faithfully managing ADHD symptoms with Neuroplasticity, hard work, Emotional sweat, and a God as we understand God” The God part could be optional of course. I’m interested in other peoples ideas about what to call this support group thing. For now there ain’t nuthing within a two or three hours drive I can go to as easily as here. I’ll get better at writing eventually too. It’s would be especially cool if there were some grammar police around here so I can say what I mean, and you guys may even understand what I write.

So, in other words HEEEEEELLLLLPPPP ME PLEASE! this ADHD is destroying my ability to be a clown and make my little old lady neighbors pee a little when I make then laugh. Uuukayyy!!

Thanks!

Oh! I know… we can have a rule that each time we post on the “Support” thread we have to write a short Zen like sentence for others to ponder on and remain humble, teachable, and interesting. Sound cool?

Well crap! at least think about it, you can always just quit!, or lurk, or just show up to clown around. That’s what I do!, This can better than a support group. (I’ve participated in an endless number of many different kinds of support groups, about more topics than I could ever list)

The top goal on my list has become, Be! some kind of mental health worker who helps, maybe coaches people with problems related to living in this CRAZY ass world. Please see the work of art by Rick called “Define Crazy” if you want to read something really awesome and encouraging. Ear’s a link for ya. http://totallyadd.com/forum/search.php?q=Define+Crazy billd’s idea for searching an individual web site for specific info is an excellent way to find that article. You just use google, like this…http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=697&page=3 That one worked out fun, but here’s Ricks thing ubowt Crazy, http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=1328 please don’t read my posts on that page, you could get a headache. That is if you don’t already have one.

I’ve got to get my apartment semi organized, we have one of our semi anal, I mean annual inspections tomorrow, and again at the end of the month. So I need to get busy.

forgive any serious typo’s, or brain farts in this post okay, it’s too dang big to edit/proofread now that I’ve waited till the last minute to clean up my lil apartment. It’s sanitary, but severely cluttered and embarrassing as hell.

K that’s it. Here’s my first Zen like sentence. In high school my best friend and I used to smoke a dube n read Zen, so I don’t actually remember much…

Love, peace, n compassion… Karmic fertilizer, wisdom, sweat, and the art of being child-like, permission is not required in this place-time-continueum.

I did read through my post one time, it’s a habit I can’t quit. I wrote some here, some in the old mac text editor, and went back n forth a couple times, also opened a new one the third time I copy n pasted from the post place on this site to the text editor, and somehow lost the part I wrote about remembering the name to the pace that earthquake was in… Crap, I gotta go find it now. Couldn’t find it. The name popped into my head and I did write it… LOMA PRIETTA,,, I now have more faith in my subconscious mind. I have prayed for faith, there is scientific proof that if people with faith, know people with faith are praying for them, they experience what doctors can explain in no other way that Miracles.

That! my friends is exactly why I’m still alive. Once I told a doctor, who was in tears; amazed at my miraculous suvival. “it doesn’t even matter if there’s a God, what matters is my faith in that God” It was true then, and I’ve survive much more terrifying struggles with pressure sores, bone infections, Insanity!!! and careless extremely over workdedand stressed out hospital folks and EVIL I mean seriously accidentally on purpose tell me I had cancer! visitingnurses who showed me just how cold hearted, infected with Malice and hatred human beings can be. Don’t get me started about the VisitingNursesAssociation. They’re like the freaking MOB.Incompetent and severelycorrupt, I connected some of the words on purpose so the webbotnetworks don’t help them sue me. It’s okay if they do though because I don’t have much to steal. My freedom is inside me, where it can never be taken.

“Honor cannot be taken, or given… it grows within ya” –Rob Roy– I freakin love that movie.

I’ll share about an experiment done with a bunch of monkeys that is solid proof we should always QUESTION AUTHORITY, the one about the banana on a string in the middle of a room. And the cruelty of spraying these monkeys with ICE COLD water. In the name of science…. for the good of mankind. Yeah, sickening.. you’re dang right!

In the 19th century medical schools used to pay grave robbers for corpses, Now they just use disabled people. Especially one’s with mental struggles.

Hmmm, I forgot to mix decaf with my coffee this morning… I guess that’s sorta obvious, huh?

Love yerself in spite of it all.

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