Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

Re: add and social skills

Re: add and social skills2011-05-24T01:43:19+00:00

The Forums Forums Ask The Community add and social skills Re: add and social skills


Post count: 14413

Well Sdwa……intense, bombarded by information….”the world is too much with us” (Wordsworth right)??? Anyway..here is where I’m at with that…..remember, this is just me, I can’t speak for anybody else or pretend to know what is “right” or right for anybody else….I don’t assume to have the power to judge. It’s not my place to do so.

What I can share is……clothing, values, lifestyle choices…..hmmmm….. they don’t hold any real significance for me. I can’t tell you or anybody else whether that’s right or wrong….again not my place. I would have to make some sort judgement based maybe on some sort of invented criteria…I guess?? What I have found is those things you mentioned are simply trappings, and that the people behind them can be as varied as one can imagine. It’s because of that, that for me, people are endlessly fascinating, all sorts of people with all sorts of views both complimentary and conflicting…..same goes with lifestyle. I actually worked at a degree in Psych most of my adult life both before and during my career, so maybe that explains that maybe??

Uncomfortableness…interesting. I have found that …hmmmmm….uncomfortableness (let’s say in social situations) for instance, is internal. If I am uncomfortable, there are actually feelings or emotions driving that uncomfortableness…. they are an emotion set I have chosen in that instant, for that situation. Quite often those feelings may be initiated by my fight or flight reactions set. I know I’m going to get my ass kicked for that but, for me……it is true. Those feelings are not my fault but…… are my responsibility, there is a huge difference. If I hold myself accountable for my feelings or emotions, I find I can start to work within that framework. If I deny accountability, then I must accept the idea that my feelings and my emotions are the responsibility, or property of others???? Here is what I know…..I know full well that my feelings and responses are mine and mine alone….I chose them, always, for better or worse.

If I chose a feeling or emotion set, they are based on my perceptions, I know that too. If indeed my perception is my reality, and it does not serve me well, then I can work at understanding my perception fault or distortion that is serving me distress, over and over again. I can work to understand why I have such as stranglehold on that faulty perception, and once understood, I can indeed work to change it. After all… I created it in the first place, therefore, I can change it!!! I may need help with that process. It may take a great deal of time (years) and effort, because I have used (relied on) it for years, but, as I indicated earlier, to spend the rest of my life giving up to the distorted perception, and giving in to the discomfort, or that which does not serve me well….. may actually be more difficult??? No????

Blah blah blah…I know…I get talky, but, that’s just me!!!