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Re: ADD and Suicide, is there a connection?

Re: ADD and Suicide, is there a connection?2012-02-14T00:51:50+00:00

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Shadow Nexus
Post count: 181

ADHD makes it impossible to get a “regular job”, since I can’t be packaged and put into a box. So, I gave up totally a few years ago. Then there’s finding a gal that have anything in common with. That is huge issue by itself. Suffering through one noise hell in apartment complex 10 years ago for about three years. Now, being stuck in another one for three years+ since again I can’t afford quieter. Section8 is still about 4-8 months away. Independent business idea I can’t focus on until I get out of the noisy building. My only thought, “How the hell can I get out of this noisehell quicker??”. I’v done everything possible to fix it. It’s like trying to put out a forest fire with a cup of water.

When, you add all this up and all the other hell i’v been through. I’v had to fight the impulse nearly everyday for 30 years. “Why not just end the pain and suffering now?” I’v found that the ADHD single-mindness helps and hope that things will get better. It’s hard to fight it off. On bad day, i’m so emotionally tired out from dealing with all the stress. Fighting it off takes every bit of willpower I have.

Many years ago, I planned it out in every detail. So, no one would have any hint or any warning. Something about the way my ADHD functions prevents me from crossing the line. My spiritual beliefs played a role as well. My strength of will amazes me that i’v gone through so much and i’m still around. I’v heard about people taking their own lives for far less than i’v been through.

Those of you that have had loved one or friend take there own lives remember it’s not about you. If they had doubts, somehow they would let it slip. Most do have doubts, “A permanent solution to a temporary problem.” At some level, they will cry for help. Your not perfect, don’t think you are. The signs slipped passed you. It was their inner demons that destroyed them.

Someone with no doubts and smart enough will find a way with no signs or warnings. In that case, don’t blame yourself. You did all you could.

I’v been to that dark place and back many times over. I’m able to escape, but some never make it out. Don’t blame yourself….