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Re: ADD Asperger Syndrome

Re: ADD Asperger Syndrome2011-01-25T20:17:21+00:00

The Forums Forums Ask The Community ADD Asperger Syndrome Re: ADD Asperger Syndrome

#99323

Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD
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Post count: 473

It’s really interesting what you’re noticing here. It might be something for someone who is doing research.

I think you have kind of answered your own question, which is how do you get someone to see that developing habits is not changing who they are. The idea that I am “a clean shirt every day” seems bizarre to me, but that seems to be how an AS person views things.

Perhaps the way forward is to see that creating new habits or structures, new behaviours, doing new things, has nothing to do with your beliefs, personality, fears, hopes, life experience, ethnic background, dreams, etc.. In other words, all the stuff that is YOU. That changes very slowly, if at all, over one’s life, unless one does some really powerful self-actualization courses. And a diagnosis of Cancer or a Near-Death experience can certainly shake off a lot of the limits we’ve imposed on ourselves.

We know who we are. Or we think we do. And we think we know who are parents are. But of course, we also claim our parents don’t really know us, never considering that our parents could be just like us, pretending, putting up pretenses, afraid, frustrated, knowing they could be so much more, but not sure how to get there.

You only have to look at what happens when someone is on their deathbed to see how much of who we are is just beliefs, just story, that has become ‘fact’. Everyone shows up, everything is forgiven. People sees only the good in the other person, “I was such a fool. You were just trying to protect me from having my heart broken, and I thought you were meddling or didn’t want me to be married and have a family.” Or whatever it is.

Sorry, I think I’m diverging here.

A thought: The reasons and logic and so on about why AS people view things a certain way is interesting. But it’s just information. The question, as you point out, is what is the way forward.

To use an analogy, if just giving people more information was all that was needed, more knowledge, more resources, then hell, no one would be out of shape or overweight, right? There’s a thousand diet plans. The simplest is, eat less, eat healthier and exercise more. But what percentage of the population is overweight? Knowing and understanding is interesting. But it doesn’t get you anywhere. What usually gets people eating better and exercising more is a doctor looking at your X-ray or Cardiogram and going, “Uh oh.” Then we’re suddenly aware of the costs of how we’ve been living.

Change is possible, but the danger is you can change back.

The trick is transformation. Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. That’s a one way process.

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