Re: ADD Diagnosis and confusion

[Anonymous]

Sure I’ll take a shot. I can share where I’m at and where I come from (my story). I’m 60 and ADD and I’ve know for 30 years. I too went to university before my work career, dropped out after 1 year, but went back evenings for years during my work career. I love the subject matter. I found I excelled verbally in class room and in discussion with professors. I did ok on exams but struggled, and ok on papers but it would take me for ever to write them. Not procrastination but trying to focus the paper, put a fine point on it if you will? My professors were always surprised at my just ok exam marks and paper grades. I still think about going back but…. I remember the agony of writing papers and don’t know that I ever will. I was a Psych Major and (as we all do) feel I could have done well in the field.

A tool I have used is a good counselor (talk therapy). My life was in trouble and my marriage, it all was going poorly inspite of career success. I spent three years in counseling ( I went because of her I stayed because of me ) and it was the best thing I ever did!!! I gained a perspective that will never leave me, and a calmness that endures today. I learned patience and tolerance for myself, my frailalties, and for others. I learned who I was, who I truely was, and what I believe is truely important to me and why. Those are the things that guide me, and those are the things that if I feed them give me a quality of life without remorse or regret. I am still married, I am for the most part content, I do those things that feed me and disregard those things that do not. This not a path easily traveled, and the way is long, at times painful but it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done and do not regret one minute spent. I learned also to be kind to myself, self humor and self forgiveness for my shortcomings. So I would say for me this was the most life altering undertaking I ever did.

I also learned because of myself awareness how to cope. Funny…I work part time (I’m retired) at a job that is also my hobby…how fortunate for me. But I take lunch, after it’s made I put it on my jacket or on my shoes (at the door) so when I go to put my shoes on I put my lunch I my jacket VOILA…… Things like that. My partner a “linear brain person” marvels at how rigid I am about everyday things. Replace the tooth paste on the shopping list when I have 1/2 a tube left, have enough underwear so I only have to do that laundry every two weeks, my comb must stay in the bristles of my brush in a specfic spot by the sink. Why???? Because those everyday mundane things once mastered and predicable are things I never have to consider again. They become rote……I stopped my brain clutter, I stopped the oh my god I forgot to do this, I’m out of that, I didn’t pick this up at the store. I freed myself and does it ever work well….for me.

I stopped doing what I thought I should do, what everybody else does, and started doing only those things that feed me as a person. I know it sounds selfish but if I can be the best person I can be, then I am a much better me for every one else in my life. Does that make sense???

Don’t get me wrong I still have all the every day life maintenance to do but it has become (if I may) not an issue once the mundane is managed. Those things do not have a place in my head??? No need!

Exercise has been an obsession for 30 years also…..I like the way I look and feel, that again feeds me physically and emotionally. So yes physical fitness and mental fitness are one and the same, as is diet. You are what you eat!!! Old saying but true.

Am I perfect NO!!!! I do all sorts of goofy shit!! Sometimes I try leave the house three four times getting blocks away before returning to pick up this, I forgot that….it’s really funny. Hahahahahahah, i smile now at the thought of it. I laugh like crazy about it, tell my partner she just shakes her head. I fall down I get up, I fall down I get up…..what the hell,so what??. In all of that, I really am tender and kind to myself about it. It’s done what can I do, beating myself up for my little flaws doesn’t help. If I’m not good to me, and if I don’t like or care for me who else will???? I am patient with myself as I said, and I like that about me. I am funny, I am a character in my own life story. A character I appreciate and like….a lot.

Music is certainly one of the things that enrichens my life. I play an instrument, I have my own Blues Band and I love it. Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I don’t know what is right for you, I know what is right for me and what works for me. As I said I searched my soul…NOT MY HEAD….my soul hard to discover who I was and what path I should follow. Once I was on that path (it’s not what other people tell me it should be, it is what it is, for you) I became more serene, I attained a calmness inside, so when I stray from that path, because I’m in tune with that calmness, I can feel the agitation and I know. I’m off the path and need to return. it is a guide I trust…I have to trust.

This is my story, I don’t know your story, I don’t profess to have any answers for you, and certainly would never begin to advise you on how to use your heartbearts………this is my story. I can only hope it may help….I know it helps me just in the telling and re-telling.

toofat

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