Re: ADD downside…..

[Anonymous]

Hey gracious, nice to meet ya. Soooo this is my first post on here. I wanted to offer some support. I myself have had add all my life (no hyperactivity) and have within the last year admitted it, and started on Ritalin a week ago. I can totally relate to your struggle with time, fatigue and frustration. ADD effects me majorly in the motivation, completing tasks, and staying organized departments. As you might imagine, my home is no show room. I find housekeeping- Boring! Since starting the meds, I’ve been attacking my house and actually enjoying it- and yes- I’ve been hyper focusing on it. I presently am sitting in my living room, with the unfinished task of the wall hangings I want to put up- nagging at me. I want to finish, yet- after cleaning for 5 hours- I’m beat. But, I’m looking at the house reorganizing as a continuous project, so I don’t go nuts.

You sound like you have a lot on your plate! Three young kids along with redecorating bedrooms from top to bottom and daily life’s chores to contend with. That’s a lot! Whew! I’m a parent too, and I remember how difficult I found dealing with everything in life along with raising children. It sucks getting irritable and knowing how it effects the kiddos.

I want to say though, take a breather. Stop and give yourself a pat on the back. Look at everything you are accomplishing. It sounds like you are a concerned parent, who is creating beautiful rooms for them, and taking care of them. That’s a whole lot if you ask me.

Maybe it’s not add that’s a problem, maybe it’s your expectations. Maybe this project needs a deadline adjustment? It’s amazing how long some things take, when we think we’ll have them done by the end of the day and they just aren’t, no matter how hard we try.

I think that is a common human experience- adder’s as well. I guess I’m trying to say, be kind to yourself. I get how frustrated you are.

Ok, now here are some suggestions I thought of:

It sounds like you need some strategies to deal with things like shopping- what techniques would work for you to manage your frustration?

Is there a way that you can engage your kiddos in the project? Or in shopping? How can you vent your frustration in a constructive way in those situations? Can you talk to your kiddos in a way that lets them know what is going on inside of you, in a way that helps both you and them in those situations? Sometimes I say to my kiddo, “Look, I know that you want my attention right now- but I feel like I’m about to explode- I gotta calm down- give me a minute- then we’ll go to the toy isle.” What about fake cuss words? Those can be fun… “Oh Crumpletarts!!!” I dunno…

Can you put the kiddos in a temporary room to sleep and then hyperfocus to your heart’s content when they are are in bed?

Do you have a support network? Counselour? (My counselour has ADD herself, and it’s good to know someone who understands.)

Anyhoo, yer doing good, and as I see it- you just need some more tools in your bag and to stop and smell the roses. As long as you are taking care of your kiddos and they know that you love them- that’s all that really matters. I hate to see someone trying so hard and beating themselves up. Seriously, I used to be overly hard on myself. I still am sometimes.

Wishing you well, roachella.

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