Hi B – I know what you mean! I hate the negative chatter – it’s so draining both emotionally and physically (because it messes up my sleep patterns).
I take Ritalin and it really helps me with my emotional regulation. So if I do some dumb-ass thing then so what, who hasn’t made an error? If I am not on Ritalin and/or stressed and I do a dumb-ass thing then the chatter (negative) goes on for ages and I go into a downward vortex of self loathing or loathing for the other people involved.
I used to question my ADHD diagnosis and wonder if it was actually anxiety – but looking back, I have always had symptoms of ADHD but the anxiety comes and goes.
Since you were diagnosed as a child and again independently as an adult, it’s maybe safe to assume the diagnosis of ADHD is correct. The fact that you don’t get the chatter unless you’re stressed suggests to me that you’ve perhaps got anxiety as a co-feature.
Good luck with your interview on Wednesday. Prepare well for it so you don’t feel so anxious on the day – sleep well so you can ‘think on your feet’ and be positive about yourself. Turn that negative chatter into positive mantras. Good luck. 