Re: Any College 'kids' here?? Share your stories, please!!

[Anonymous]

Hey, joining in the College thread.

I’m currently a university student in a Computer Science program. Haven’t been officially tested for ADD/ADHD, but I’m trying to get there.

I want to take the approach of ‘as long as I actually learn and I pass my classes, who cares what my grades are’ but I’m on a scholarship and my family’s finances are tight so there’s a huge pressure on me to maintain it. I’m a good student, or at least get good grades, but lately I’m getting left behind.

My main difficulty is how hard it is to focus on schoolwork. I almost never study or read lengthy materials because I can’t keep it up for very long. The mental effort it takes is intimidating. Anxiety on what I’m going to do after graduating compounds my stress. I feel like I have to learn things aside from what’s being taught in class to keep competitive in my field, which I think is very true, but I never do that either because, again, self-study requires a lot of self-discipline and concentration.

There’s coping and trying and I’m getting by. The free university counselor has been wonderful for me though I just started seeing her last month. It’s been alright so far and hopefully it’ll keep up until graduation. Mostly, I’m hoping for a diagnosis and, if I can somehow afford it, medication (which I think would really help).

University really is just that intimidating sometimes though, especially during examinations. Finals week is an extra kind of hell for everyone. Some days I just don’t feel like I can do it, that I’m vastly underprepared and not putting enough effort and I’ll just fail in the end. I feel miserable when I go into classes and leave miserable and dreading the next time. It’s hard, really, but there are some things I do actually find interesting learning, even if I feel like I’d be no good at doing it. Just have to keep thinking it’ll be worth it.

My course is demanding, but not insanely so. I always find time for myself. I’d go crazy if I didn’t.

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