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Re: Are there stratagies for sucessful marriages?

Re: Are there stratagies for sucessful marriages?2010-09-06T15:00:48+00:00

The Forums Forums For The Non-ADD I Married An ADDer Are there stratagies for sucessful marriages? Re: Are there stratagies for sucessful marriages?

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Anonymous
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Thank you for your questions. Some research has indicated that 60-70% Asperger’s syndrome is comorbid with ADHD. Probably becuase Physicans are hesitant to diagnosis Aspies because of the severe consequences that such a lable can have, but Aspies is not what my husband has. My husband presents clearly as someon with ADD. . . . for your information, here is the difference between Aspies and ADD…

Those with Attention Deficit Disorder respond to behavioral modification. With Asperger Syndrome, the syndrome is the behavior. Both kinds of individuals can tantrum, talk too loud and too much and have problems modulating their behaviors and making friends. Both are social failures but for different reasons.

The individual with Attention Deficit Disorder knows what to do but forgets to do it. Aspies do not know what to do. They do not understand that relationships are two-sided. If an Aspies talks on and on in an unmodulated voice about his particular interest, he simply does not understand that he is boring his friend and showing disinterest in his friend’s side of the conversation. On the other hand, the ADDer cannot control himself from dominating the conversation. An Aspie appears unfocused, forgetful and disorganized like a ADDer, but there is a difference. The ADDer is easily distracted; the Aspie has no “filter.” The Aspie sees everything in his/her environment as equally important. The ADDer understands the rules but lacks the self-control to follow them. The Aspie does not understand the rules.

The emotional distnace that is fostered in my relationship with my husband is created by the stress of his ability to cope with the distractions of the stimulie around him. Emotional distnace can be difficult due to the barriers of ADD becuase the ADD symptoms can suck the life out of any promising relatioship. I am looking for information on how others have dealt with this emotional distancing in their relationship.

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