The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › It Runs In Families › Communicating about ADD › Re: Communicating about ADD
Read the part of the posts about spouses with interest and concern. Made me think of how very very VERY easy it is to make someone else an identified patient. The patient part is more often a true and positive label for a spouse or loved one who has put up with our crap – ADHD or otherwise – for any length of time. It really sucked being the scapegoat for whatever was bugging my parents when I was growing up. I refuse to do that to someone else.
The best advice I ever got during a particularly troubled stretch of my working life was to focus on myself and not others. While I certainly don’t overlook the things about my partner’s actions which make my life as an ADHDer so so much harder, AND I am pretty certain he suffers from the same, AND I think I know what he ought to do about it, ultimately I am in control of my own destiny. I laid down my concerns to him based on how it affected ME, not how much I think his actions suck. If we are asking people in our lives to understand and walk alongside us in loving acceptance we better damn well be willing to do the same. This is a case where us ADHDers best learn to go against our wiring and learn to suffer fools gladly.
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