The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › I'm Scared › DEALING WITH NATURAL DISASTERS › Re: DEALING WITH NATURAL DISASTERS
Anonymous
probably suffer less risk of eyestrain?
you know, these japanese nationals- i bet that pretty much everyone is either completely avoiding them or blabbering incessantly at them right now. i’d just offer a respectful nod and small smile (which pretty much says it all) and see if they respond with an inviting/opening reply, or just look to keep doing whatever they’re doing- in which case i wouldn’t approach them but would send a note- some people can’t deal with other people when they’re greiving.
if they were open to talking i’d say ‘hey- i wanted you to know that i’m here, and i care, but it’s really hard to know what’s the right thing to say or do at a time like this- please, don’t hesitate to tell me whatever you need, what’d help you most -right now- or whenever you need it- even if it’s a little thing, or if you need something at 2am, give me a call, ok?’…. which sounds really stupid maybe, but they’re in the best place to advise you on what’d help, really.
from asking friends and family who are going through difficult periods just that, i’ve got all kinds of answers, like requests for an ‘escape route’ (a phonecall asking for a ride to get a burger or a beer later that night when they’re trapped in a houseful of wailing relatives, or going nuts thinking in circles), or practical help (some people just don’t wanna cook and forget to eat if someone doesn’t wave a meal under their nose every night, or find it hard to cope with ferrying kids to clubs and groups, picking up granmas pills from the pharmacy, etc, when their mind is fogged up by greif) quite a few cases of “please, just treat me like normal, that helps me keep it together most- and there is so much fussing going on right now my brain might explode if someone else even mentions what’s happening” and ‘thanks mate- just knowing you’re thinking of me is enough right now!” plus the odd “i could really just use a hug, to be honest”…..
they’ll let you know what they need. and if they don’t need anything, they’ll still know that you cared enough to ask and offer.
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