Re: Dopamine? Am I doomed to be depressed? Does my Consorta make me who I am?

[Robbo]

Great question, I’ll bet tons of us have felt what you’re feeling. Being misdiagnosed so so many years ago, I was put on prozac. I remember being jackup up way beyond Manic! and the dudes on the work site got pretty freaked at the super human carpenter feats I was confident enough to pull off. But I hated not feeling, and luckily the doctor switched me to paxil. Still the wrong stuff, but I was under pressure to pay bills, child support, eat!, and also made some major life changes. So I tolerated it. I quit being a carpenter, partly because the morning commute was a race through the Ca. mountains. Even for an adrenaline junkie, I saw one too many accidents, like a car rolling in a dust ball at 70 mph about 10 feet off the side of the road I was pinned on… I had moved to Santa Cruz and learned to surf at about age um…. 26 I think. Went back to cooking in fancy restaurants. I think surfing may have helped to save my soul…

Fast foreword to almost a year ago, and no SSRI meds (prozac, paxil) just welbutrin and ritalin. (generics are working for me) And I have my feelings, but nope, no real depression. Just the pain we all go through when we learn hard life lessons. Before, I had no idea why I was so desperately depressed. Now I do know why I get bummed, and I have solutions. They are all over this web site. I sometimes tell people to check the links here, but the truth is, I spend less than .3% (point 3%) of my time on other ADHD sites.

The road to finding the right medications and treatment might be long but not many of us can tell you how long. I got very lucky. But my type of ADHD requires tons of reading and re-reading here about the solutions I can do other than taking my medications. I take em strictly as directed. Our brain chemistry is very tricky stuff. So if you have to keep a journal and make the best out of the time you get with doctors. Please do that. Not just one or two, or a few doctors/social workers etc. The other places on the web I’ve been have usually been professionals who specialize in ADHD specifically. And coaching type stuff. Like that “Fly lady” flylady.net she’s real cool, even if you’re a dude like me.

So I see my medication as letting me be 100% me. if you’re not honestly feeling that way, definitely write about it, and talk about it with your doctors. There should be relief, and gratitude. Not more fears. Fears are definitely part of the process. But please stick with us, and put in some time reading all around this web site. It’s truly huge!, and a gold mine of awesome wise help for misfits like myself. It took me a long time to even feel like I “fit” here. But nowadays, I fit better in general because I don’t try to fit in the parts of the world where THEY don’t fit ME. I hope you see the difference. I’m okay. Many of the place I’ve wanted to fit were not healthy places for people like me. Or possibly you too.

Please keep talking to us. I’m still not completely okay with the fact that I need to take medications, the truth is, years from now I may not have to. But for now. It’s a fact I do accept, and it doesn’t mean I’m less valuable to the world, or less worthy of consideration, love, respect. Honor. It’s just one more question about life that I don’t get to have the full answer to just yet. Great clues I do have. Lot’s of em are here at totallyadd.com. More answers are on the way for US, keep surfin around this place.

Hole crap! 3 n a half hours just flew by!!! sheesh…

7-12-12

Peace.

7-12-12

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