Re: (Extremely long post) Overwhelmed, probably a rant of my entire life

[Geoduck]

yeah, I read it too…I’m kind of lost, though, now. I read your own response…what does the fictitious part mean? Also, I got a bit lost in the original post, but get the drift. You’re life has been sucky, you’re trying to do better, and working on yourself, despite having horrid taste in women that you try to rescue from themselves…I think…

So some thoughts:

First, because I read it last: “I get a lot of complaints about “You’re absolutely right” but “you could of lied to me a little just to make me feel better, jerk.” “

YEAH!!! Totally hear that. What the hell is wrong with people that don’t like honesty? Okay, maybe up front honesty isn’t the best policy, but dammit, even if it is ADHD, honesty is just who I am. Deal, people!

On rescuing others: I come from a not so stellar family background. Sometimes victims of abuse become helpers. You spent a lot of time trying to make do with your “parent.” Sometimes, that makes victims of abuse vulnerable to trying to rescue or help someone else. You aren’t going to fix your ex (or anyone else). She has to do that herself. Don’t waste any more time there. Keep your eyes and ears open, and jump on any chance of emergency custody. I had a parent from my scout troop that went through this. All it took was one incident at his ex’s house, to jump on that, and he got emergency custody. If your child is in danger, do not hesitate on this, for his own good. The object is not to be the parent that wins, but to be the parent that can give your child a safe, stable, and happy home.

Authority and friendships: Again, nobody protected you, or helped you, when you were young. Why would you trust authority? Why would you trust friends? You know they can’t protect you or help you from personal experience. Okay, probably not how the world really works, but I am 40 and still have incredible issues regarding both authority and friends. I have never trusted authority, and I either give myself over to friends with too much trust, or pull back, having none at all. Luckily, I found a patient man to be my husband, but seriously, that really was luck. Still, this is something I am in continual struggle with, myself. Either too much or none at all, in both regards.

Still, I gotta ask, there’s a lot of “this happened to me” in here. There has to be some ownership of your own self and actions. It’s not all the ADHD. You weren’t raised in a great home, so I assume you are trying to parent yourself into a reasonable adult. Maybe journal some things down, look at what you think you can and can’t control, and what you have and do not have in regards to responsibility. At least that way you can see where to help yourself become a stronger, wiser person.

Good luck to you on your journey. Sounds like it’s going uphill now, I think. I hope things continue in that direction.

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