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It sounds like ADHD to me, I can relate to a number of your symptoms. The ticks could be Turrets or another neurological disorder. Highly functional people can keep balance in one part of their life but fail miserably in others. Your co-workers only see the competent side, they don’t see what happens after a day of keeping it together. You collapse at home and let your husband take care of you because your system has shut down. If you wanted to try the medication you could ask your husband to help you monitor things. But most of the medications have long left your system by the end of the workday or shortly afterwards. But it could help you get more done on weekends. Maybe set up a meal plan and make all meals on Sunday so that you have something every night of the week. Many people are living this same life where they keep it together for co-workers and friends but fail completely at home and on your own. Ask yourself, do you want to continue to live this way for the next year when there is something that could help you right now. Medication may or may not help you but you won’t know if you don’t try it.
Stop being so hard on yourself. So far you are able to function well enough to maintain a job, family and relationships. Your house may not look like the homes in magazines but neither has it been condemned. You and your family have not starved to death. If your co-workers think you are normal then you obviously are not dirty, disheveled or offensive smelling. You did graduate from University, you do know a second language so your brain functions. So as they say “Fake it until you make it”, do you think that anyone else is perfect. As for clumsiness I fall upstairs. I have perfected the bounce back. I can slip on the ice, and make it look like it is just a curtsy in the snow. And everyone loves a rebel. Makes you more mysterious, especially if you refuse to invite anyone over to your house. They just spend more time trying to get an invitation. Good luck. You are not alone.
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