The Forums Forums The Workplace ADHD-Friendly Careers Finding direction sucks when you don't have a compass Re: Finding direction sucks when you don't have a compass

purlgurl
Member
#92399 |

Also, regarding your list of things that you’re good at, I was in the same boat at the end of high school/through much of my 20s (it made settling on any one thing really really difficult!). What it took to make me realize that there were some things that I was “extra” good at, and that made me happy, was finding myself in a job that used those skills. So, experimenting with different work (as long as you can pay the bills!) can be a very valuable tool for self-discovery. Related to the above suggestion to see a counselor if you can, I know that Dr. Jain is always talking about how one of the essential elements of ADHD treatment is building self-esteem – I bet you have more assets to bring to a workplace than you think you do, and that probably a lifetime of “you’re not living up to your potential”-type comments has done a bit of a number on your sense of self-worth.

I would also suggest trying to eliminate “supposed to” from your vocabulary (and I know how tough that is – I have a list of regrets a mile long, and the little voice that says “You’re supposed to own a house by now, you’re not supposed to have so much debt, you’re not supposed to cause your husband so much stress, and you’re not supposed to be in school – or if you are, you’re supposed to be in a PhD program, etc. etc.”). It is a seductive voice, but listening to it is not productive – things are the way they are, and today is what it is – I *try* to learn from the past, and then let it go (much easier now that I can focus on thinking about the past!). Are the things that I like now the “right things”? I’m happy with my work, I’m happy with where I’m going, I feel like I am making a contribution to society, and I have people who do respect me despite the lack of letters after my name (including a friend who is a PhD student :).

A suggestion for trying out crafting – have you considered opening a shop on Etsy? Or even starting your own online store? (This is the website of an acquaintance: http://www.anatomyofaskirt.com/ – she has to work hard, but she loves what she does.)