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Re: How do you deal with these people?

Re: How do you deal with these people?2010-12-08T09:25:19+00:00

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! No One Believes Me How do you deal with these people? Re: How do you deal with these people?


Post count: 14413

Hi Billd

What, a whole 30 minutes? I seldom get past 10. As for books, I get better than average enjoyment, ’cause I get to read the same page over and over. And it’s fresh each time:-)

I’m way over 65. I’m raising a grandchild, who was diagnosed in 1994, His mother, my daughter, was diagnosed in 1996. I was diagnosed in 1998. I went through the process for two reasons:

– One day, my wife and older son started laughing and looking directly at me when I walked into the living room. They had been reading Dr. Hallowell’s book. They figured that they had nailed me.

– I wanted to be a better advocate for my grandson, who was already diagnosed with ADHD as was my daughter.

As a result of the evaluation, I went on medication (108mg Concerta – the dosage determination took several months). I had just retired, so I was under foot a lot more than usual. My wife of 30+ years liked the result, and became more relaxed when I was around. The family joke is that I take the meds and my wife feels better.

Yes, I had some crappy experiences, like yours. I was removed from kindergarten, of all things. Never spent more than 2 years in the same school (1 exception at 3.5 years). Mostly, I was at one boarding school or another, until my parents had to find another. My ADHD daughter self medicated and got convicted. This was before she was diagnosed. We thought we were terrible parents. My parents felt they were terrible; but, I knew by time I was 30 that they had to do what they did for their own sanity. Forgiveness not required.

Nothing learned in life goes to waste. I’ve got kids and grand-kids to help and advocate for. Like ADDled, said – “move forward” and use that new knowledge to create something good. The anger will go away when you have no time to feed it.

PS. I know of no ADHD trait that is not shared with the population at large. It’s a matter of frequency and intensity. Most medical problems are binary (is the arm broken or not?). ADHD is just a lot of gray – which explains the necessity for an objective diagnosis. I don’t think adult ADHD is even in the DSM 4.

Please don’t forget that the doctors are not responsible for your health, you are. They are just consultants. If you pay a consultant for a service and fail to learn something useful, you chose the wrong consultant (also true for lawyers, accountants, and engineers). If a surgeon botches a surgery, the patient dies; but the surgeon just goes home.

Why not joke about it? Better than ignoring it! There is an old aphorism that applies:

“Never teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig”

You will never be able to “prove” to those people. First, you must decide wither the are ignorant or stupid. Stupid is forever. Give the ignorant ones a book on the subject. I like Dr. Hallowell’s – available in paperback. If they don’t read it and gain some understanding, then your initial judgment was off.

How do you know your mother is not ADHD? You got the ADHD genes from somewhere.

You are not alone and neither am I.