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Re: Impulse control, how do you get a handle on it

Re: Impulse control, how do you get a handle on it2011-01-14T05:03:06+00:00

The Forums Forums Tools, Techniques & Treatments Impulse control, how do you get a handle on it Re: Impulse control, how do you get a handle on it


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All right, I see. And of course I’m wishing that your mother could bring in an income. And I also now understand, given her narcissism, why you have a history of depression and are sensitive to futility. I’m guessing (I don’t know) that you never got to really feel taken care of. So part of you mentally takes the whole world on your shoulders, and life understandably appears overwhelming, exhausting and ultimately futile some of the time. And I’m also guessing, again really presumptuously, that you learned to be so bloody independent that you didn’t manage to build a real support system.

So you have until May. So hang in. And set SMALLER GOALS that will build on each other and will buoy you. You would do better, in terms of building up your personal energy, with shorter-term, tangible goals that challenge you but bring results.

It was 14 years ago when I started over, but it was all step by baby step. I remember, too, how the emotional exhaustion made my head feel like garbage. But I also remember that every time I got through a baby step and some little window forward had opened, it gave me new energy. So if you can’t leave, then you’re looking at small steps here, and not for one big grand solution. It’s far too exhausting and self-defeating to consider everything only in grand-overall-scheme terms—as capable as you are of doing so. When you’re in a complicated bind, you’re bound to toss in the towel too soon when you succumb to grand-solution thinking. So you need little goals that will kick away at the futility with their littler results.

It was through persistently blitzing temp agencies that I got my foot in the door and found my way back onto my own career track. So that’s what I would ask you to do. Focus for now on just getting a contract somewhere. It won’t stretch out forever before you and have you questioning whether you can stick with it in the long run (you macro thinker, you), and working one or more contracts will lead to other things.

You’re also going to have to force yourself to reach out and get to know other people (in person) when you finally get back out there. But you knew that.

As far as your partner goes, you’re just going to have to use the Tao with him for the time being.