Re: Impulse control, how do you get a handle on it

[Anonymous]

my psychologist has me practicing ‘mindfulness’- being aware of my thoughts, where i am physically and mentally, being present in the moment, etc. it aint easy, but like with anything i think its 50% sheer bloody willpower and detirmination to succeed, and 50% consistant practice (and making it a habit as a result).

when i’m in meetings or groups now, i always have a notebook and pen open infront of me, and i doodle as i listen- keeping my hand and a little bit of brain busy helps to stop me from interrupting, and keep me present mentally. i also try and take a nice slow calm breath and count to 3 in my mind before i speak, and to work in sentances that must end when i need to take a breath inwards- no rambling and spewing words with no end and then falling over from lack of oxygen.

wrt the computer issue, you could try and actively put a physical barrier between you and the bad websites- by blocking the IP of site addresses that you’ll go to without thinking, removing them from your favourites, setting your search engine to ‘safesearch’ and even adding software like netnanny to your system. of course you can get around things like that if you really want to visit a naughty site, cos they’re blocks that you’ve put into place and you can remove, and you could sneakily use proxy servers, etc, but working around that visable barrier that takes a few seconds to breach might give you enough time and involve enough concious thought and action that your brain will clue in and give you a quick mental slap around the head and take your finger off the mouse.

another thing you could do is put a keystroke logger or a history recording program on your computer, that your girlfriend has the password/remote access to the log records of, and you don’t. you could agree that for anything shady thats recorded, she gets something that causes you a degree of discomfort to give (all the laundry done for a month, dinners cooked and served by you for a week, to spend a few hundred bucks of yours on a shopping spree, etc). and put a big reminder postit note of this agreement on the edge of your screen. that way you know that whatever you’re doing, she will know about it, and you can’t hide your tracks- plus you have a solid tangible consequence attached to your action. kinda feels less desireable and exciting to be looking at something when you know big brother (or girlfriend) is watching and will yell at you later, and have your guts on a plate for the rest of the year.

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