Re: Impulse control, how do you get a handle on it

[Saffron]

Good call, jeneticallymodified.

Melissatex, your predicament isn’t much different to that of women who are bound by sharing children with an abusive partner, and the insurmountable obstacles (exhaustion and financial dependency among them) to leaving that can go along with that. I’m impressed by the realism of your description and clear-headed perspective about the corner you’ve found yourself painted into. You sound like one smart cookie. Do not give up please. Look, I *viscerally* get where you’re coming from in frankly and soberly considering suicide as an alternative to being trapped with no end yet in sight and enduring waves of emotional torture in your own home. And as a fellow atheist, I can’t imagine how crappy it would be to have to choose between religious support and no support.

But I really want you to keep playing for time, and doing whatever you have to on a daily basis to keep yourself sane. No doubt you’ve considered this, but is selling your home an option? Have you equity? I know, I know—it’s your damned *home*. But in my case, I eventually had to make the decision to walk away from most of my belongings and my home, and I started over. A couple of girlfriends helped me with the getting out and the transition, since my family is remote and splintered—once they knew I was ready to leave, they did whatever they could to help.

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