Re: In a spin.

[Anonymous]

If there is a reassurance that I am not in some way insane, I have discovered this fact in the few preceding replies ahead of my own. I to feel a connection to the confusion, uncertainty, lack of discipline, tail spinning actions, self sabotage, anger, denial, lack of self esteem, destroyed relationships…yada yada yada. But I take heart in the fact that I have a group that is sincere and willing to state the one obvious fact, we can overcome this, we can succeed, be happy, and above all be who we were meant to be.

I to have made the self discovery that has long alluded me for 42 years. I am ADHD, what really, I am just realizing this. Yes, it’s true, and I love it. I wear it as a badge, to say yes, I am a bumper car, yes, you will bounce off me, yes my thoughts will race ahead, and that there is 1001 things that will interest me, and bore me the same insatant. I take heart that those who get more educated to what we are will soon discover that we are passionate people, we love to learn, create and to destroy all in a single day. And to think, I thought there was something wrong with me, when in reality there is nothing wrong at all.

Consciously I always felt different, prided myself for it, but secretly longed to fit in, but I never could. People would always ask me to settle down, to remain calm. But let’s face it, I am a piece of flubber bouncing around in a glass shop, while everyone else is standing still waiting to decide what to do next. I was always annoyed by the fact that others never got who I was, never took the time to see through the energy highs, and the chatter, to discover that I was indeed unique and had something of quality to offer a friendship or relationship.

I agree with Rick, dwelling on the past hurt and pain is a cathartic and painful way to deal. Now that I have a grip on the issues, I am entertaining only self discovery, and finding happiness today and beyond. Yes, this also comes with a buffer called drug therapy, but I also know that we do not have to take the highest possible dose. We can also take enough to provide context, and keep the enrgy bottled like a can of soda. I still fizz, but not overflowing the boundries that scare the beejezus out of people! What I will acknowledge is the serene high I get from aiming my laser acumen on a single subject, and really truly excelling at it. For example, work and the relationship one builds from it. In the past I could care less about outcomes that I could control. Now I have the control, and the laser beam of my consciousness is aimed where I desire it, and with a precision I never had before. Sure, I also have list, task, reminders and a handful of friends that help me stay on task. But they also remind me that I am the bouncing ball, and it is fun to see the ball in action, once it is aimed the right way.

Each of you have expressed a unique perspective, and yet we share that same perspective through our individual lives. Thanks for letting me know we can work it out, be happy, encouraged, excepted for who we are, and survive even in this life time.

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