The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? It only took me 47 years to figure out why! Re: It only took me 47 years to figure out why!

Bettyboo
Member
#91598 |

Wow, abslt0…first off you are not a “lazy, stuborn lazy ass”. ADD is a difficult to understand because we aren’t comparing ourselves to other ADDers we are comparing ourselves to non-adders so how do you do that? You don’t…I have been through a few stages since I was diagnosed this July 9th, 2009 at 44. Happy – finally I understand, then Mad – how come someone didn’t notice – how come I didn’t recognize this for my girls I’m a horrible mom – Depressed – oh my God I can’t believe my past what have I done and how come I’m still doing some of the same things even with meds – Denial – I don’t want this. I knew myself better before the diagnoses. Today, I’m at Acceptance – I want to live my life and be happy. Am I going to go through the stages again maybe but I’ll be better with each of them as it happens. I only have today.

My girls were also diagnosed they are 21 and 19…all our lives we have been wanting to adjust ourselves to fit into a world that isn’t necessarily aware of what we need. I am determined to look at what is good about me and the great qualities my children have. I have had conversation with my husband to help him understand the symptoms and how they affect him, me and the girls. It is difficult for him because he says “why” can’t you just do it…I always say “It is like I’m being driven by something totally outside of my body” I know better but can’t seem to move in the right direction. I beat myself up enough…don’t need someone asking me “why” then telling me “how”. ADDers cannot be compaired to non-ADDers. I have explained that when he talks in that manner it only intensifies the symptoms. I have explained I needed him to ask me how he can help me because he doesn’t understand what happened. I find it easier then blaming or accusing me. Medication has really supported us in making better decisions but I still mess up now and then but now I find that I reflect more on my strengths then my deficits (have enough of those). My strengths are what keep me alive and happy…feeling positive and healthy mentally. Take a look at yourself…you have survived 47 years of someone saying “what is the matter with you?” now take a look at the next 47 years and say “what is great about me? “Live off of that and realize that we all have deficits and they will appear but your strengths are larger then that….I would suggest you write down somewhere what great characteristics you have and look at them everyday…BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!! you are worth more than anything…I know I am and my kids know that too…Keep your spirits up!! you were put on this earth for a reason and it wasn’t to be a labeled a “lazy stubborn lazy ass”. Accept that you aren’t always going to do everything the way you want or someone else…just KEEP BELIEVING…i’ll promise you that you will feel better about YOUSELF…I know I have. Hope this helps…bye for now your fellow ADDer friend.

Elizabeth