I cried in the doctor’s office, but only a little, and it was definitely a load-off-my-mind sort of crying. I’d already had my big cry twice: reading that Delivered from Distraction checklist back when all this began, and then sitting in the auditorium during the ADD road show with Dr. Jain, Rick, and Patrick back in June.
By the time I sat down with the doctor I’d worked myself into a total pretzel – months in the making! with all the DO-I-OR-DON’T-I I’d been carrying around; you folks have been there, I know! Reminds me of the old daisy-petal-pulling cartoons: He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me…
And for every minute of my wondering aloud here, multiply that by ten for all the wondering aloud at home. Poor hubby; here’s a typical opening: “So, here’s another example of the ADD that I don’t have; I left my purse at home again!”
God bless him, though, because he’s the only one in my family who took this seriously, who kept after me to go see somebody. “If you don’t have ADD, you’re no worse off. And if you do have it, you can do something about it.” Contrast that to my mother’s opinion: “You don’t have ADD, you have three kids!”
And then multiply that number of conversations again by a hundred for all the unspoken obsession, the tape looping over and over in my head…..
WHEW.
Yesterday evening, after I’d finally had a chance to tell him the news, my hubby came home from a grocery store errand with a little bouquet of flowers for me.
“Happy flowers” he called them. And, damn, did they make me happy. To show my thanks I completely cleaned off the mess on the kitchen table so they’d look nice sitting there.
They’re daisies.
