mannyc79….if I may, because I think we’re all friends here and I certainly would want someone coming to my aid if I were suffering the same concerns you are: There are issues you are dealing with that go far deeper than ADHD I believe. Perhaps the ADHD is a manefestation of the deeper issues but they are there nonetheless and will continue to plague you if nothing is done to quell their voice. Their voice is the abuse of alcohol and drugs and it has obviously had an enormous impact on you throughout your life. It sounds to me as though you would benefit from seeing a psychotherapist so that you can address anything you may be harbouring emotionally that is causing you to turn to alcohol and drugs as a means to escape whatever it is that’s troubling you. I’m not a doctor by any stretch, but when someone says they’ve “abused alcohol and other things for a few years almost daily”, it doesn’t take a Phd to understand there are behavioural trends that need addressing and a soul that is gasping for breath.
Should you decide to go ahead with the prescription your doctor has given you, I would advise that you have another doctor keep a close eye on your progress. Not that your existing doctor is doing anything wrong, but I was recently told by my family doctor that he sees 40 people a day and due to this work load, how much ‘care’ can he possibly give? You have a very legitimate need for follow up and guidance during this tumultuous time and if your doctor is unable to give the kind of care you require, you need to make certain that you get it from somewhere. At the very least, someone that can give you professional feedback and that also posseses the means to prevent you from further abusing anything you’re on.
Again, I’m by no means a professional. I’m just someone that can empathize with your predicament. As always, I’m sure the community here can be of support to you should you need an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on. Remember that you’re loved manny. And remember the incredible strength you already possess.
“In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.”