Whooooa! Nellie! 
Helloooooooooooooo!
Its not the city at all! I LOOOOOOOOOOVE it here! So many places to explore! So many new people! New experiences! I LOVE IT! Same old stresses. Like I said above… the school scene once again. I HATE it! Hate small talk. Hate all the action. Hate the system. Hate the attitudes. Of course lack on organizational skills and the overwhelm. I both love to meet new people and dread it all at the same time. Depends on my mood I guess. If im in a confident cheery mood, or paranoid insecure one. Bleh.
Having to find tenants and dealing with my last ones is a HUGE stress. Ive really had to learn to stand up for myself these last few months. My tenants were bullies and dealing with a lot of “outspoken” co-workers. Been a good lesson. None the less stressful however. Dispute is on the 6th…. I dont want to attend. I dont care anymore. I quit. I give up! I have all my evidence together and really I am in the right according to the law. Ive done nothing wrong thats where im confused! I am a fair person! I try to be at least! I dont care if im right, I dont care if im wrong! I want to be fair! I just dont see where I was wrong, I dont understand why I have to go to court when Ive done NOTHING wrong! I dont know! Maybe I have?? But according to my readings of the Residential Laws I havent! Whatever. Did an 18 hour night shift and have had little sleep, can you tell? hahahaha I need some CROWN ROYAL! UGH!
I agree with you all. No its not the city. But yes overwhelm. I dont know which to do first. Its just all so over bearing from the little things like trying to keep my kitchen looking neat and tidy to my $30k car dying (JUST BOUGHT A YEAR AGO!), and horrible first time tenant experience, and kids SCHOOL!!! I feel like ive been backed into a corner. Im tired of fighting. I want a break! I still dont even know if I agree with ADHD. Is it real? Its been over a year since my diagnosis… but I still feel like…. I dont know. Its a joke. I just cant grasp it. EVERYONE seems like they have ADD! Im normal… just a little bit off… hahahaha This reminds me of last week! I ran out of meds. Was without for a week… I was at work…. I didnt think they made a difference… But all week my co-workers asked me what was wrong. If I was doing drugs (I wasn’t, THAT was the problem hahahaha) because I was so forgetful, all over the place, hyper. The residents asked me if I had lost my marbles and told me to take their meds because I had lost it. Co-workers now call me “blondie”. Yeah yeah yeah. Proves the “ADD”
I just wish there was some easy way. I just wish I could just be told what to do and I wish I would do it. Like in elementary. I just had to follow their routine…. I would be done my work before everyone and sit there in my own little world drawing comics and entertaining myself. After school I would go out into the bush and explore. Get myself into risky adventures like climbing up the side of a mountain and then not knowing how to get down…. Following big horn sheep wasnt the smartest thing ive done… My parents told me to clean my room. Do my chores… If I didnt I was yelled at. That worked. Now im my own boss. I have no routine…. I cant yell at myself. Doesnt work. My parents dont scare me anymore. Sure, anyone can tell me what to do, but it wont work. Like an addict still in denial. I hope to hit bottom soon or get that “ah-ha” moment so I can start coming back up. I guess its a life long battle just like addiction. Nothing seems to sober me up! Still living in an alternate reality.
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