Sorry for the late response.
ADHD is very much about changing your lifestyle and medications are there to assist. There is no miracle cure. However, the consideration for meds is a very personal one but the best strategy is to be informed and to decide whether it is right for you. Try not to make emotional decisions. Check out my videos on this topic.
At the end of the day, it is about control, yes, but it is also about stopping your suffering.
Regarding changing who you are…….these aren’t personality altering mediations. They just help make your brain work on the things you were supposed to.