Re: Still struggling with things…..

[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

For me, the self esteem improved when I started having successes in areas where I had been struggling. I also had to really work on my beliefs that I was damaged. It was sad in a way to see how I had shut down in many areas of life. In fact, Career was about all I had going. Not great when you have two kids and wife. I still have the kids.

One suggestion that will give you tremendous freedom, but it feels really, really risky, is to laugh at yourself bigger and louder than anyone else does. Like if someone says, perhaps a nasty tone, “You forgot your books again? You are such a loser!” you reply, “Well, I don’t know about loser, but I can’t believe how much I forget! You wouldn’t believe it! I may be the most forgetful person on earth! Like, one time… “

Another regular practice you can do that builds self esteem is help someone else. Just by commenting on other people’s Forums or sharing your story, or experiences, you contribute to others.

But the easiest way to build self esteem is to give it away. How? By complimenting and thanking people in your life, on this website, or anywhere. Find something to acknowledge them for. Try, tomorrow morning, finding one nice thing to say about every person you meet. “You have great hair, Nancy.” “I love how neat your desk is.” “Boy, you really care about customers.” “It’s so great how much you love hockey.” Whatever. Just give it away. But make it real. If someone’s always serious and frowning at work, saying, “Hey Ray, you are always the high point of my morning” isn’t going to work. But perhaps, “Ray, I have to tell you, I don’t think anyone here cares as much about this or worries as much as you do. You are totally dedicated.”

The more you practice finding things to compliment in others, the more you’ll discover how much you actually kind of like them. And vice versa.

I’m telling you, no other practice I’ve tried works as well for getting me out of the dumps as complimenting someone else. And not expecting them to compliment me back. Just giving it away.

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