Re: There's a “tone” to my voice that everyone hates

[Anonymous]

Hello, all!

I wonder whether I am allowed to dig up a 4-month old thread? Probably, if I totally fit the subject and it helps concentrate all reflections on a particular issue on the same spot? At least, I hope so. This thread was extremely enriching, informative and intriguing to me at the same time. I am not at all familiar with the issue at hand, so I hope you won’t mind answering my questions.

I am not in the following case, but I have observed it regularly: apparently, some people are expected to graciously accept whatever nasty things or words people constantly do or say to them without any understandable reason. Others, friends and family included, just don’t mind and/or play deaf or blind and no one ever cares to jump to their defense when they’re under unjustified attack. But! Like the OP and others in this thread, they can’t seem to say anything – whatever insignificant, harmless, neutral or innocent – without everybody taking offense.

Those people are called “crazy” behind their back – I know two different cases, same thing – although they’re absolutely not, and they’re both found to have an “angry” facial expression, judging by the comments I heard. Their humor is very deadpan, too, and often mistaken for idiocy (but I get them most of the time, and I find them hilarious, although I have been told that I was exactly as aggressive as the others at first, but I really cannot remember that). When they’re understood, they’re interpreted as “arrogant”, although they’re absolutely not, either.

Moreover, both guys I know – one is a guitar player (and a rather famous one, at that; he is 48 y.o.) and the other an electrician (39 y.o. relative of a friend of my brother-in-law) – seem to encounter the same organizational problems exactly: they temporize indefinitely, try every way to escape their immediate duties, have a hard time concentrating on certain issues. And both have (private and honorable, but inconvenient) dependencies. It’s like I start seeing a pattern, here. Do you think they might have ADD? Should I tell them (both have complained about the way they use to be treated and asked me for advice over time, but I couldn’t see everything wrong with them; they’re nice guys, rather cool guys in fact, so the animosity toward them has long been beyond me)? Would it help them cope with their rather problematic social relationships?

REPORT ABUSE