haha, thanks everyone so far.
@pete
I’ll do #6 and will find out 3 days later that an email complaining about my attitude was submitted to the boss 
In my mind and memory, That’s where I’m lost
When it comes to my family, I’m just afraid (and fairly convinced) that I’ve conditioned them to think that I’m just having a “Defensive” day all the time and thus in a situation they think I’m going to freak out in…and I’m being cognative and trying to make sure I’m not…they start reading into it…then I react in anger I’m learning though!