It may sound trite, but when I’m down or ‘suffering,’ I remind myself I live in the best country in the world, in one of the safest societies in history, with the best medical care, grocery stores full of foods that the richest Kings and Queens could not have imagined even a century ago, with a home full of conveniences that would have seemed like science fiction to my grandfather. It’s everywhere. I look at the traffic lights on the way home and imagine all the work it took to design and build and install them. All the people who did their part to make the drive safe. Heck, look at all the people on this website sharing and supporting each other.
If your partner is trying to transform themselves and has setbacks, you can pat them on the back for taking it on in the first place, and for sticking with it going forward. Some of this stuff is like learning to walk. It can take years. You have to learn a whole new way of doing things. And forget a lifetime of doing them the other way. Making habits means breaking old habits. Anyone who takes that on deserves a pat on the back.