Re: What's the task that needs the most attention?

[Anonymous]

I had oldest child syndrome! I have seen a documentary that showed the differences between oldest children and subsequent ones. In fact, I think that accounts for some major differences in how ADHD manifests. Oldest children tend to be rule followers and are less likely to chuck a tantrum to get their way. The study I saw showed a parent giving the younger child lots of attention, followed by the oldest child. When the oldest child was ignored, he sidled up to mum and gave her cuddles, told her he loved her, and politely tried to insinuate himself into the action. When it was reversed, the younger child had an outright tantrum in order to get mum’s attention. Both my son and I are oldest children, and I seriously believe that it affects the way in which ADHD manifests. He has always been “good” and polite, and we have received many compliments about his behaviour when out, but he just falls apart when it comes to organisation and homework and helping around the house. His ADHD has manifested as intense curiosity, daydreaming, some friendship issues, and learning problems. But nothing that rocks the boat, as it were, though with puberty he has developed a tendency to go over the top when he gets excited, and he gets a lot angrier with things and lets his frustration show more than he used to. I am the same in that I didn’t like to rock the boat. I developed social anxiety because I was aware I didn’t quite fit in and found that keeping quiet was the best way to avoid alienating people by saying things I would regret. I became very introverted for a long while. I think that oldest children often become adept at masking some of their ADHD symptoms in an effort to conform and that’s what leads to comorbidities such as depression and anxiety, especially in females who, firstly, have fewer “acceptable” outlets for hyperactivity/impulsivity and, secondly, whose female peers are more judgemental and tend to hold grudges for ages (unlike most males who “have it out” quickly and are back to being mates afterwards).

Hmm….nothing like getting completely off topic 😉

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