Re: WOW! What a revelation

[ADD boy]

Hey everybody. I just became a member here a week or two ago. I been reading your posts and have found them to be both very helpfull and very overwelming. I went through the typical ” not living up to his potential” child hood but was not diagnosed with ADD until the age of 25. My brother who was studying to become a teacher noticed I was a literally a textbook case from the child behavior classes he was taking. Enter Ritalin. Its been 13 years and Ive been taking it on and off. Usually my prescription would run out and it would take me 3 months to book a Dr. appt. My question for any who might care to answer is…….am i on the right meds? Let me give you my thoughts on my go-go pills. I have found that they are very helpfull in keeping me on task, remembering to by milk on my way home and doing the little things I would normaly blow off until the next day. I remember to do nice things like buy flowers for my wife, remember someones name when Im talking to them and don’t find the couch as magnetic as usuall. These are all great things that have made my life better in many ways. Here are the things that have concerned me. An example is if I go away for the weekend, say camping, and I forget my meds at home, or I’m going to a boring as sin family party. Its hard not to feel like I don’t need my “high” to function and it worries me that I’m so dependent on medication to get through the day. Contrast that to right now (i’ve been off them for the whole winter) where I’m managing OK. If I look back at the last 6 months, I have accomplished absolutly nothing, but I could still go to a social gathering and not feel like it will be a total bust because I don’t have my drugs. Another thing I noticed is that while taking my go-go pills I do not put up with crap from anyone. My natural tendency in a confontation is to shut my brain down. I can to this up to a point and then I totaly snap and scare the crap out of people. When taking my ritalin I find myself more argumentative. This may be a good thing if it prevents me from going off like a preasure cooker but there have been many times when it canceled out the flowers I bought by wife. I should clarify that my medication has acually been methlephenidate. I have read in another discussion that although there is supose to be no difference, some found the generic brand to make them more edgy and aggressive. That could be my problem. The turbo charger comparason I read about was also great. You can almost count down to lift off. So long story short I’m not sure if ritalin is the drug for me and Im just as sure that my doctor won’t have a clue. Most of you people seem pretty knowlegable to me. I have an appt to get my prescription filled in a few days and would like to go in more informed than ever. A last thought. Im the kind of person who by nature hates preventative maintenace because you cant see or feel the results. Money I spent maintaining my car is money that I could have spent fixing it when It broke down for real. Yes yes yes I know that it won’t break down as often if I maintain it. Maybe a better example would be a car i use to have. I ripped out the little four cylider and put in a big v8. I put an aftermarket carb on it that could be adjusted. When it was ajusted right the acceleration was smooth and strong, but when it was a little out of wack (the secondaries kicked in a little late, for the car guys) you felt a kick in the pants when it they finally opened. This felt really cool, but at the end of the track (side street) the car was going slower. I still liked the slower runs with the kick in the pants better. I know there are medications available that are a slow release without the highs and lows through the day, but I kind of liked the kick in the pants with the regular ones because I knew they were working. I already sort of know that the “kick it the pants” is not what I should be holding out for but ………………..So heres where I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Please, be gentle. Ha.

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