The Forums › Forums › I Just Found Out! › My Story › 45 and recently diagnosed with ADHD. Hope my story helps someone else. › Reply To: 45 and recently diagnosed with ADHD. Hope my story helps someone else.
Hi Overachiever, I am new to Totally ADD and am currently waiting for a formal assessment/diagnosis of ADHD, but at 54 and after a ‘breakdown’ – that is, a crushing depression and development of an anxiety/panic disorder which has resulted in me losing my job as an Advisory Teacher of the Deaf, I relate to your sense of wonder at your diagnosis. Being driven, taking risks, acting impusively ( and relocating on my own, in my case, as I sought to find my life and further my career ) and striving for a sense of perfection in everything to do with the outside world, led to my breakdown. Hiding impulses, thoughts, spontaneous humour, a desire to dominate conversation, speak too fast, walk too fast…the list is endless! I too have been a real achiever, but the cost of constantly modifying my behaviour , thoughts and feelings has been u;timately too much, and I am in a profound state of downtime, as I come to terms with and acknowledge who I really am. What a relief!! I can’t wait to have my diagnosis, and get on track to a fulfilled and happy life. There is no stigma, and perhaps you feel as I do, that if only there had been more awareness of ADHD when we were young, a lot of troubles may have been averted. I know now that my mother had ADHD as do two of my brothers. Have you quietly looked around your immediate family for clues / traits / commonality?
I have been an avid reader all my life, focusing for six or seven hours at a time on a novel – since my breakdown and release from pressure, I haven’t been able to read anything. I understand now that a lot of my reading was a quick fix downtime activity, and at the moment I am simply myself, resulting in no concentration at all! I feel free. My goal is to reach a happy medium. Embrace your diagnosis! x
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