Reply To: Dealing with the School System

[pinkdex]

I’m not a parent yet, but I have been a teenager, so I think I might have something to add.

All of the advice on this thread is in depth, detailed, and clearly well thought-out. You’ve got a lot of great advisers here, so I’ll give you just my two cents of the whole dollar.

As a teenager in High School, your son is preparing to become independent from his parents and live his own life. Naturally, then, there’s going to be a lot of defiance to all forms of authority, whether to you or his teachers. Tell the teachers that instead of harassing you, they need to take it up with him like adults. Not only does it assume for him the dignity he desperately wants, to be treated as an adult instead of having people go through an authority structure to access him, but also it puts the battle where it really needs to be, at his feet, not at yours.

Let’s not forget that the government forces us to send our kids to school. Him being there is not his choice, or yours, or the teachers. The decision was made by someone who has no incentive to take care of the special needs of your kids because they are far removed from the situation, sitting on a poofy chair in D.C.

I say that not to trail off into politics, but to point out that it’s not really your fault that he’s in this situation. It isn’t the teacher’s fault, or his fault either. All three of you are being forced into a non-negotiable situation and so confusion, misunderstanding, and poor judgments abound. It’s like three fleas arguing on the back of an elephant. None of the fleas are in control of the elephant, but they can still argue about where he should take them.

So that’s my perspective 🙂 not really an answer or advice, as much as just a different take on it.

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