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@sdwa – I may not be the best person to give advice on how to talk to teachers. My response would pretty much be “your an @sshole”, like you said.
My brother has two kids with special needs (Aspergers and ADHD/disgraphia) and he complains all the time about the frustrations of dealing with the school. The biggest issue they have is getting teachers to understand that disabled doesn’t equal stupid.
If I was in your situation I would probably request a meeting with the teacher in question and/or thee principal. Then I would treat it just like a business meeting, prepare notes ahead of time, make up a little information package about ADHD, take a pen and notebook with me, and discuss the issues, one at a time. I would even dress the part, wearing nice clothes and putting my hair up. There are two reasons I would handle it that way: First, it gives you the upper hand, puts you in control of the situation. And second, by being very business like in difficult situations I distance myself from the emotional reactions.
I’m afraid the rest of my comment will have to wait. I was just reminded that I am supposed to be baking a ham for dinner.
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