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Reply To: Drowning

Reply To: Drowning2013-07-04T10:41:34+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey I'm Sad Drowning Reply To: Drowning


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@allan 😛 danke danke Your fun!

@Kc HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You always have great ideas there, good sir! xD

@ERmomof4 – Sorry it took me so long to get back to you! How did I stay afloat? Well I will give you an update! My kids just finished grade one and two (time flies – thank goodness for this at times!).

***sorry long post***

Medication – My ADD meds help that “destructive itch” I call it. They stabilize my hyper ups and downs. They help me remember what im doing and why. They also stop me from starting arguments with my husband for fun. I also am on antidepressants. They saved me! PMS was a really bad problem. During this time I became a ticking time bomb. From being incredibly angry and verbal abusive to my husband to feeling like I did in this post and wanting to die because I felt like such a monster out of control. I dont have that anymore because of my antidepressants. A HUGE difference! With my emotions out of the way I could focus! This is why I dont have these emotional posts anymore. I can handle it. I can make sense of things!

School – I have taught my kids to get ready the night before. They must make their own lunches and then I approve them. Just a quick check. They choose their clothes for the next day, once again I must see them first. That solves that. I didnt like having to tell them every five minutes what they had to do next, so I made them a list with cute pictures to follow in order. Since they are still young they love it. I told them once the list is done they can do as they please.

After school I get them to empty their back packs and anything important (forms etc) I need to see put right on the kitchen table so I can remember it. Out of sight, out of mind. When events are coming up, I put it on my calendar (I would die without it) and put the form on my fridge (if I have to get things ready for a swim day etc). I also set myself an alarm on my cell phone to remind me. I let them know that I am forgetful, so if they dont tell me it wont happen. I tell them to remind me. Kids dont forget the things they are excited for. I use that for my advantage. I swear the teachers must roll their eyes at me because I still tend to get the forms in on the day they are due, or forget to pack some things the kids need, but they are aware I have ADD, they may not understand it fully, but I know im doing better.

Holidays – Ive actually been doing well. Before an event I have a family member come over to help me clean and organize. My sister is a great organizer and cleaner, she knows I have ADD and understands struggle. My grandmother also loves to help, though she always says “Carrie-Ann! What am I going to do with you!” I tell her ahead of time “You can help as long as you dont lecture or scream in fear at the laundry pile in my room!” Shes been good about it. Ive been doing better because of it. I told my family I need help and dont know how to organize. They have helped me. Also, I try to arrange for others to pitch in. Like potluck. Relieves some of the load.

Husband – He too has learned about ADD and has seen the difference my medication has made. In fact he will refuse to put up with me if I dont take them. Only once a month I dont think I need them, but of course thats when I need them the most so he will get them for me hahahaha I never showed him my true feelings or emotions. How I felt like a monster… one day I did break down and cried in front of him telling him how I hated myself. He then realized I wasnt a heartless b-otch, I really did care. I explained I had a hard time dealing with my emotions. He is a great guy and together we learned about ADD and how it effects me.

PMS was my biggest problem. Also, when im hungry I get VERY VERY snippy. When I start to get snippy its not the first thing anyone asks me “are you hungry?”. My husband has started bringing snacks for me hahahahaha But he now knows im not mad at him or the kids, im just hungry, or just overwhelmed. He helps me a lot. But I have to go to him, hes not a mind reader… I could drop a subtle hint and my sister would pick it up, him, nope. Must be a man thing hahahahaha I take him aside and tell him like it is. Tell him how im struggling and that I need help with something. That was hard for me to do since Ive never shown emotion to anyone, I am the tough one! Love is for sissys! hahahaha

Meds have really calmed me down. No longer in the emotional fog. Im not as hard on myself either knowing I have ADD. I cant help but be a little unorganized. Its not an excuse, but reality.

Of course all the lovely people here who offered support when I had break downs. Was VERY VERY helpful to just vent! They all make me smile and feel better!