Hello maomao – to be honest I don’t know what to say that will be of any practical help. Your health system is different from the one in my country – it sounds equally impossible to get mental health treatment though.
Also whatever I say will not come out right and the last thing you need are platitudes, but you are at least being listened to here and you’ll find friends here, so please vent off as much as you need and keep us updated with how things are.
You sound quite desperate and somehow you need to convince your doctors to give you some antidepressants or at least some proper help – but you know that. You said you wouldn’t want to be hospitalised. I don’t blame you. But from an outsider’s view from reading your post I wonder if that would be a bad thing if it gets you the help you need and the help you deserve to have? The reason I say that is I know someone who suffers from depression and she was hospitalised for a short period of time. But during that time she got the help she needed and when she was discharged she was able to get a job and is now doing really well. So it helped her turn her life around and before that she was just passed around third rate doctors who didn’t help.
You are doing well to get work even for a few days a week so you have something really positive to work on there.
Don’t let them grind you down and worry about having to move when the house is sold. That might take ages.