Reply To: Options for diagnosis – psychiatrist recommended further psychological testing

[tallgrl212]

@blackdog, before I knew it was ADHD, this past summer I had reached an all time low with school and stuff so I had considered depression but I didn’t think it was serious enough (I didn’t think that I met all of the criteria) to actually talk to anyone about it. Plus my doctor at the time wasn’t that great so I was too scared to bring it up to her.

I want to continue on in school, I’ve always had plans to go to university but my attendance and grades were so poor in high school I decided to go to college to learn some study skills. Plus I feel like I have more to learn, and in order to get a designation in accounting you need to get a degree.

My first year in a certificate program in college was okay, I did well mostly because it was just stuff from high school that I’d already done. I still didn’t go to class though. And I  was still scrambling to get stuff done despite the fact that I cut off most my friends and stopped playing video games so I could just focus on school work, and I got a ton of help from my mom when it came to finishing assignments.  When I actually transferred into the program I wanted to be in I still did well, but as the semesters progressed my grades declined. My anxiety around exam time (I was still trying to finish teaching myself material, couldn’t stay focused long enough to study, panicking about failing because no university will want me or not graduating on time) gets so bad I had to go to the doctor to get excused from writing, my doc at the time just thought I was faking it. Then when you actually get into the exam rooms are so big and crowded with the acoustic magnifying every little sound, so its unnerving when you’re trying to write an exam and the girl next to you decides to open a bag of chips, or the clicking on the invigilator’s heel as she walks from the other side of the gym.

Comparing myself to my peers I would always feel so stupid because I  had to spend so much extra time trying to read and practice just to get half the grades everyone else got, but when all was said and done I still got lower grades and still felt like I was a huge failure and it was because I wasn’t trying hard enough to be organized or go to class. I hate going to class because I maybe get about 15% about what’s going on because I get so easily distracted by movements in my periphery or the smallest noises, plus whatever I’m thinking about or worried about at the time.

I went to school this past summer because I during the traditional school semester. Summer was the worst because the teachers have to take a 6 week vacation so some courses they would cram into 6 weeks (stuff like taxation, business law, and accounting topics deal with pensions and junk), just these really information dense courses. I just couldn’t deal, I came close to failing almost all of my classes. I passed because my mom literally had to sit down with me and walk me through my assignments.

When I did my co-op my performance appraisals (which were okay 7s and 8s because they were being generous) always mentioned how many mistakes I made or that I never seemed focused (I used to turn my head every time someone walked in when I heard noise), but the work was also incredibly boring and simple.

 

At my school continuing ed is basically just paying for your course. You don’t pay any ancillary fees or anything so it doesn’t entitle you to much but free parking. I’m not registered as a student with special needs. When I was like 3 the doctor told my mom that I should get tested for ADHD and she thought I was too young to be able to tell (we lived in a different country at this point). When I was a little older (at around 7)  she went back to a different pediatrician because she suspected I had a learning disability but I didn’t meet enough of the criteria to warrant further testing. I never caused any trouble at school for teachers to ever pay attention to me or suspect anything was wrong. Plus I got a lot of support at home — I had a parent to keep me on track and help me with my homework at all levels of education.

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