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Reply To: Positive Feedback

Reply To: Positive Feedback2013-11-10T14:21:06+00:00

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Post count: 158

10 to 1 — yep, I have heard that too…but often we say more negative things than positive things. Probably because negatives are often easier to notice, and people don’t even realize they are doing that. Actually, I remember learning *not* to be too positive as part of growing up. It wasn’t cool to be positive. It was cool to be sophisticated and sarcastic and to roll your eyes at new ideas. Maybe that was the body armour adopted by some of the cool kids because they weren’t coping…unfortunately, it’s infectious.

Also — I read somewhere that worry is something that ADHD mind clings to. Negativity is actually a stimulant. It lights up like a beacon when we are full of a jumble of different thoughts and sensations, and feeling lost. I love the time when I first wake up in the morning, and before my mind really kicks in. That first bit of being awake but not worried, mind floating free…and then it latches on to a worry. And so the day begins, moving from one “should” to another with a relentless feeling of anxiety underpinning it all. One thing that stuck out from Rick’s talk was the notion that people with ADHD are never truly happy. We don’t (can’t?) savour the moment when something positive is going on…because we don’t rest. Off to the next adventure!

@sdwa — in order to navigate almost any social contact, I have a continual self-talk going on inside — almost a script that runs parallel to the actual conversation. Like so: ***lesson learned — using the little sideways v brackets (over the comma and the period) results in whatever was inside them disappearing when you post. I had a whole monologue in here. Sorry, not re-writing it, gotta do laundry and such!*** “Good, we didn’t do much. How about you?” . I hate the label of shy/socially awkward too. Lived with it for too many years. Considering the lengths I go to in order to hold a conversation, I would say I am pretty damn social!

Writing down good stuff you do isn’t a bad idea — it was advice given to me a few years ago, at the end of the day to write down 3 things I did well and one thing I was thankful for. To help with depression / feelings of overwhelm. Actually, now that I think of it, it did help me turn my self-talk away from “I can’t do that” to “I can”. Hmm. Not 100% mind you, but there has been a fundamental shift.

Maybe not starved, but very hungry for attention all my life. Starting to learn to be my own best friend, whatever that means. Validation from other people is awesome, but in reality it doesn’t happen near as often as it should. Maybe if one worked on giving positives to themselves, they would warm up and start just radiating positiveness. Like starting up a generator. Imagine being that person. Give it away, and it would come right back….