At some pont, some of it will hopefully turn into something you will be able look back at and laugh about.
After being diagnosed with depression, anxiety and related issues, I was diagnosed with PTSD. From childhood to my last days at work (age 64) I had been subjected to many horrific incidents. I calloused over them and put them in hidden compartments of my mind.
Many memories are crowding in from across my life.
The day I was diagnosed with PTSD was awful. I had a hard time driving home as I began to recount many tragedies long hidden in my mind. Just putting on my seatbelt brought me to tears. I went home and was working on some fencing when I got a small cut on my thumb. As I put my thumb up to my mouth to clean off the blood before getting a band aid, the faint smell of blood opened up a sudden gush of really greusome memories.
Through therapy and drugs these old memories are still there, but at controlled levels.
The other thing that I’ve mentioned in other posts is that I’ve been able to surround myself with people just like me. It includes cousins, and included several uncles. It included friends at most of my jobs. It probably goes back to at least 5th or 6th grade in school. Other ADDers have always made up the majority of my friends. We just didnt realize it. We were the nerds who didnt really fit in, but we were the ones the others came to for help and advice. Sure, I have some “normal” friends and they accept me for my maladies. But they are the kinds of people who just like nearly everyone they meet.
I have a lot of hobbies, many of which appeal to ADDers. Especially through internet forums I’ve found a number of intense crazies like me. One group in particular relates to fisheries management. We are scattered all over the US and Canada. We get together in groups several times a year, usually on fishing trips. I had used a term on that forum last week that brought out the best of the ADDers. One friend said “why do you think I have seven monitors on my main work computer?” I have also met a lot of great ADDers on a specialty electronic hobbiest forum.
Try to look at the bright side. In many ways we are gifted — just look at Rick Green and Patrick McKenna here on Totally ADD. They have been very succesful and well known in Canada and the US for many many years. Therapy, the right meds, and being able to laugh at ourselves can do wonders.